


Disarray

by rosypudding



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angsty Blackwall, Betrayal, Coming of Age, Distant Cullen, Distrust, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt, Lyrium Withdrawal, Misunderstandings abound!, Mutual Pining, Original Characters - Freeform, Rage, Romance, Slow Burn, Smutty!, possible canon divergence is possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:40:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4751816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosypudding/pseuds/rosypudding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Torn from the mundane, Evelyn Trevelyan is forced to enter womanhood just as she's thrust into the role of Herald, and eventually Inquisitor. A coming of age story, where a young, inexperienced mage is confronted with love (in all it's complexities), responsibility, and her own conflicted opinions and loyalties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disobediance

She peered into her looking-glass, shifting her head from side to side in front of the little mirror. She wanted to gather a full image of herself, in an effort to reassure herself. Adrina had lent her some rouge and her lips looked pink and matte against her tanned skin; her high cheekbones, also pink. She had released the waves of her hair from their constant, righteous bun, and they framed her face fetchingly, she decided. She caught one of her eyes, a dark orb, as she darted the mirror around and realized she'd forgotten to ask Fee for her kohl. She gave a little sigh, but her disappointment was fleeting. She smiled, half into the mirror, half into the room, feeling as though nothing could dampen her mood.

  
She tossed the mirror onto Fee's bed and ran her hands over her robes, feeling the curve of her waist and hips. She had chosen the most form-fitting of her clothes, a yellow robe that complimented her complexion. It had been a gift from her parents nearly a year ago, for her twentieth birthday. She'd never worn it, slightly out of spite, but mostly because she'd lacked an occasion.

  
The dormitory she stood in was small, and she shared it with only six other female mages, all of whom had come of age and passed their harrowing. They were mentors to younger mages, and were all on track to become teachers, each with their own specialization. Fee was a battlemage, with a focus on winter spells. Adrina and Evelyn had both focused on their spirit abilities, Adrina favoring barriers and dispelling magic while Evelyn had nearly perfected the art of healing. She knew her powers in this realm were remarkable, but that very talent had also trapped her. Every mage was given a "holistic" education, but in reality they were all pushed towards one ability, and this had always depressed her.

  
_It's as if we're being manufactured._ She thought, not for the first time.

  
Atop that, Evelyn had never expected to even get this far in the Circle hierarchy. Somehow she never pictured the Ostwick Circle when she thought of her future. Her mind had always wandered beyond this phase, to a time when she could become a traveling healer (was there even such a thing?) but one who would prove their mettle as they adventured, fighting off foes and collecting a rag tag band of friends.

  
Apostasy hadn't exactly occurred to her, however. In her dream, she wasn't a circle mage. She'd grown up too sheltered, surrounded by Templars and an institutionalization that made it difficult to consider (let alone comprehend) a real life outside of her tower walls. She knew she'd never manage to marry her dreams to reality. And so, she was left uneasy about what, or rather where, she'd end up. Her spirits had initially gone down when her betters informed her she was being promoted to a mentoring position.

  
It dawned on her that maybe that's why she had accepted this distraction. While she wasn't a wilting flower, she also wasn't the type to blatantly flout rules. Or was she? She hadn't had much chance to, now that she thought about it. Not that it was so unbelievable, what she was doing. She'd heard countless stories. But then again, she'd never actually known anyone who had done.

   
Feeling a little too self aware, she decided to stop overthinking. It really didn't matter, she told herself, because she had already made her choice. And nothing would steer her away from him.

* * *

 

"Here to see Bash, are you?" Fee's eyes crinkled as a sly smile spread across her face. Evelyn returned the smile and rolled her eyes, lightly swatting at Fee's arm.

  
"Have you seen him?" She whispered into her friend's pointed ear, her eyes darting around the dim library.

  
"Yes, silly, he's right over there, by the new _shemmie_. Near the books on Nevarra."

  
"Great. Remember Fee, if anything, I've left the garden because of a headache and you don't know where I've gone."

  
"Yes, yes, I've got it! Today's finally the day! Better get on with it before they give the call for dinner." Fee nudged her friend and gave her a wink. Evelyn felt her cheeks grow hot, but not from the girlish embarrassment Fee attributed it to. She felt guilty.

  
"Wish me well, I hope it isn't as nasty a business as I've heard!" Evelyn mumbled cheerily as she turned away, her words coming out with a breath.

  
She walked towards Bash, who was in deep conversation with a fellow male mage, one whom Evelyn had only seen from afar, for he was new. As she came closer she noted the new mage's handsome features and kind eyes, which scanned Bash's face earnestly. She stopped a few feet from them and cleared her throat prettily, her head down and her eyes peeping up when Bash turned around to face her.

  
"Introduce me Bash." She demanded playfully, her eyes passing from Bash to the mage.

  
"Oh! Evelyn, this is Demitrius, he's from the same city as your family, I believe." He spoke excitedly, closing the distance between he and Evelyn, taking her hand as he pulled her nearer to his new friend.

  
"Oh, how nice. Did you transfer from another Circle or did you live there in apostasy?" She asked with a smile and tone that she knew instantly would be read as condescending. She couldn't quite pin why her question had come off so... _Orlesian_. She had little love for the family that had repudiated her, or for the city they domineered, but that had nothing to do with this man. And, she was a little jealous of mages who managed to live beyond Circles, but usually that jealousy inspired interest, not mean-spiritedness.

  
She must be more anxious than she thought.

  
Demitrius cocked his head to one side and gave her a slightly baffled smile.

  
"Apostasy. Does that bother you, _Lady_ Trevelyan? I know that freedom is not really of consequence to the nobility, but it was important to my family."

  
Evelyn's eyes grew big. Despite her rudeness, she had not expected this response. Her gaze darted to Bash, who seemed like he was about to try and lighten the mood, but she put her hand up to stop him and tried to salvage the introduction, her cheeks brightening.

  
"As well it should be. I envy you." Her words seemed to work as an apology, some of the defensiveness leaving Demitrius' eyes. _Thank the Maker_ , she sighed internally.

  
"Also I have not been a lady since the age of six, so please, call me Evelyn. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Demitrius. Maybe you can tell me about our city, sometime." She added graciously, a small, close-lipped smile on her face before she focused her attention on Bash and drew him away. Quickly, before she said anything else out of line.

  
"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't feel like myself, but... He seems like a decent enough fellow." She murmured her apology as they neared a corner of the library, the eyes of the mages-- and Templars-- following them.

  
"Oh, he'll be fine! But you, you're right, you aren't acting like yourself. Are you sure about toni--"

  
"Yes! Once it's over, I'll be a lot less jittery. And hopefully a lot less bitchy." She assured him with a smile, placing her hand over his.

  
"A quarter to five, remember. If you don't do as I said, there'll be suspicion." She added.

  
"Of course, of course. But Ev, are you sure this is what you want? It could cost you a lot more trouble than it's worth." His blue eyes shone with concern for her, his eyebrows furrowed.

  
"I promise, I'm sure. Please, tell Demitrius I'm sorry once more if I offended." She closed their conversation and began to walk away.

  
"Oh, by the way Ev," He called to her once she'd put a few steps between them. She turned her head around to look at him, her waves catching on the slight reveal of her shoulder.

  
"You look beautiful."

* * *

 

Her heart was racing as she ran over moldy rocks and slivers of rainwater in an attempt to keep her boots clean. She held the bunches of her robe in her fists as the waves of her hair bounced over her chest and back. When she finally arrived at the designated spot near the coast, not far from the Circle, she felt a little disheartened that no one was there. She looked back towards the tower, worried something had delayed him. She wasn't supposed to have left the garden, but the penalty for doing so wasn't very high. Lovers often did, and some of the Templars were lenient with that sort of thing. Trouble was, her particular situation did not lend itself to their leniency.

  
Her breathing slowed slightly as she narrowed her eyes in every direction, trying to see if maybe she'd missed the mark and gone astray. Before she could turn around however, two broad hands were at her hips, and she heard a loud "Boo," that made her heart leap, and her body go very still in fear.

  
He laughed heartily as her face turned back to look at him sharply.

  
"Not so happy to see me?" His voice was soft and full of levity, his eyes glinting with mischief. She turned her entire body round, and gave him a light shove as a smile grew on her face.

  
"No, as a matter of fact; I think I'll to return to the tower." She pursed her happy lips, her uptilted head challenging him.

  
"Nooo, after all this effort?!" He pouted while his eyes remained merry. She admired his features, those of which she'd snuck glances at whenever no one else had been looking.

  
He had thick black hair, a few strands falling over the sides of his temples, and clear green eyes that seemingly pierced through her, his brow low and strong. His aquiline nose led down to a smirking mouth, which held the sweetest tongue she'd ever tasted. His neck was thick and his shoulders broad, though he was lean in general, and she imagined he seemed bulkier due to his armor.

  
_Right,_ she reminded herself, her eyes falling from his shoulders to the crest on his breastplate. _His Templar armor_.

  
"Mmm, you may have a point. How do you plan to make it worth my while?" She teased, her fingers toying with the straps holding the breastplate to the rest of his armor.

  
"I can think of a few ways..." He said, equally teasing. His hands took hers from the straps and pulled her gently towards the clearing where they were supposed to have met, which she'd missed.

  
"I always have been directionally defunct." She whined airily, coming into the clearing and walking towards the blanket he'd laid out. She stood at the edge of it, and glanced over at him.

  
"Ser Aiden, I believe someone's camped out here. We should warn them of the vicious, silk-thirsty mages who live but a mile away." She faked a concerned expression, her tone gravely playful. Not but two weeks ago the Circle mages had been slandered by a local merchant who claimed that they had all cursed him and his after he had refused to sell _them_ his silks, but not the Templars. His daughter had taken sick shortly after, and died.

  
Aiden shook his head at her, and she thought she saw his expression cloud slightly.

  
"Don't joke like that Ev." He chastised her lightly, coming towards her before sitting on the blanket, his hand extended to help her sit.

  
"What did I say?" She replied, slightly defensive but also curious as to how she had offended. Even amongst the Templars the merchants claims were a joke.

  
Was no one willing to play along today? Or was it just her?

  
He sighed, seemingly wanting to avoid the topic.

  
"Listen, I know where you're coming from... but try to understand that most people--they're simple folk. And sometimes their prejudice comes from experience, not just superstition." He had leaned back onto his elbows once he noted that she wouldn't take his hand, and he looked up at her, the sun causing him to narrow his eyes. Evelyn felt discomfort at his comment, and it showed in her body language, as she shifted from one foot to the other.

  
"No experience should blanket a population." She spoke lower, though her words were clear. She'd never had to defend a point against him, and she didn't know how this new facet of their relationship would work. He'd seemed ready enough to move past it earlier; hopefully her stubbornness wouldn't sour the evening.

  
"But try to understand where they're coming from. My parents knew that girl you know." So that was where this was coming from, she realized. She often forgot Templars had families, origins, _connections_ to the real world.

  
_Well that's not my fault; they act as though they're made of stone._

  
Her expression softened, and she knelt down on her knees beside him, her hand coming up to caress his cheek.

  
"I was being crude, you're right." She lied to his face, feeling mixed about it, but not wanting to ruin the date they'd worked so hard to achieve. Perhaps she'd simply made the joke too soon, but she couldn't actually cede to him that she should stand for being accused of natural phenomena, just because she was a mage.

  
She forced a smile, bringing why they were here back to the forefront of her mind.

  
"You know... you are not properly dressed for the occasion." She joked after a moment, her finger tapping against her lips as she pretended to calculate how his outfit came up short.

  
"Ah, yes, wearing decidedly too many clothes, we cannot have this!" She exclaimed, a finger in the air before working to remove the armor from his arms. He laughed at her, the tension from before fading as he helped her remove the breastplate as well.

  
"You look amazing by the way. Did you doll yourself up, all for me?" He asked, his smile returning as his eyes flicked over her face and clothes.

  
"No, I always tart myself up for jaunts by the coast." She replied simply, dropping his breastplate onto the grass before flashing him a smile.

  
"Come out here often then? Without me to protect you?" He took off the last of the armor from his legs, his underclothes much simpler than the decorated armor. He hadn't moved very far up the ranks yet, and probably could ill afford to waste money on fripperies.

  
"Never. I'd be lost without you." She replied, her tone sarcastic. She was able enough, but she conceded he did have a small point. She was often frustrated by how little she'd been allowed to exercise her natural athleticism. She knew she could be strong. She could feel it in her walk, in her reflexes. But she had always shown more promise as a healer, and so was only rarely given the chance to explore combat, unlike Fee.

  
She tried to brush off the indignation, knowing he was only trying to be cute.

  
And he did think he was being cute, smiling up at her. That smile tugged at her belly, and she forgot the comment once he sat up higher and brought his lips to hers. His hands went around her waist, and hers slowly moved through his hair. He deepened his kiss, and she tasted that sweet tongue she'd sneakily sampled for months now, in hidden corridors and crannies of the tower. He rose onto his knees, one hand on her lower back as she unfolded her legs and laid beneath him. He lingered over her, kissing her deeply, his free hand lightly cupping her breast and caressing her neck. She could feel her pulse rising, heard it in her head.

  
Evelyn closed her eyes in nervous excitement. She had opened her legs to accommodate him, but she wasn't doing much else to facilitate. She'd never lain with a man, and Adrina's rapid fire explanation of what sex entailed had left her a little anxious. Still, she felt ready, and she sensed he did too. Or rather, she physically felt his readiness, grinding up against her thigh.

  
He broke their kiss, his breathing staggered, and he rose himself up and pulled his shirt over his head. His eyes shone differently than she'd ever seen, and she made sure to archive the look.

  
_So_ that _is what lust looks like._

  
He unbuttoned his trousers, tugging at them until he kicked them off, and he was left only in his small clothes. She looked at him, taking in the youthful physique she hadn't had the chance to see yet. He was lean, but strong, his muscles defined under taut skin. Skin that was paler underneath his clothes. She contrasted him with her tan body (the one feature she'd inherited from her Rivani mother) but he'd not seen her yet, and at that thought her nerves riled.

  
"You look..." She began, her voice trailing off, and she realized the heavy lidded expression she was wearing must be mirroring the one she'd seen on him earlier.

  
He grinned at her.

  
"Now who's wearing too many clothes?" He asked, a smug look on his face.

  
She blushed, and hoped the red would get lost beneath her rouge. She raised her hands to the clasps at the front of her robe, unclipping them slowly, her eyes not leaving his despite her anxiety. When she'd opened it fully, she shrugged her shoulders and the rest of the fabric came away, revealing her torso and legs entirely. She'd worn no small clothes, and Aiden's eyes grew in grateful surprise. She visibly saw him swallow before he spoke.

  
"Tell me you have the potion." He said breathlessly. She couldn't help but give a giggle as she reached down into her shoe and pulled out a little vial.

  
"Adrina taught me how to whip it up. She said to take it right after, and it would destroy any of _you_ that gets in any of _me_." She said the last words teasingly, her face screwing up as though the thought disgusted her. He smiled and took the vial from her hand, placing it at arms length from them.

  
"Well then first..." He mumbled, lowering himself until their bodies touched again. She felt herself swallow, and she whispered in his ear as his hand found her sex.

  
"Just be gentle, OK?" This was the first time she'd expressed doubt at their decision, and she hoped not to scare him away.

  
His fingers found her clit and she gasped quietly as his eyes fell on hers.

  
"I will be. Tell me to stop if necessary." He sounded earnest, and this reassured her. She smiled and rose her lips to meet his, her own hand snaking into his small clothes and grasping him firmly. He grunted into her mouth as she slowly moved in the motions they'd escaped in so often the last several months.

  
This went on for some time, and the doubts and the fear of the pain ebbed away as her desire rose. In time they were both breathing raggedly, and Evelyn herself pushed his small clothes down, her hands pressing him closer to her.

"Now." She whispered into his ear, and he nodded his head ever so slightly. His knee pushed one of her legs further away as he positioned himself, holding his member right at her sex. She felt the touch, and her heart stopped for what felt like an age before he entered her.

  
When he did, however, her eyes widened instantly in pain. It felt as though he had hammered through her insides, although she knew he'd gone slow and barely entered her. Still, she felt an unbearable pressure and tightness, and she immediately regretted her decision.

  
_This is worse than freezing in Fee's cold of cone last summer. This is worse than being singed by that stray fire blast on the training grounds last month._

  
He went in a little further, not noticing her reaction, and this time she couldn't help but gasp. He pulled away a bit now, his eyes searching for her assurance.

  
She bit her lip and shook her head yes, instinctively knowing that she had to at least endure this to its finale if she was to ever be rid of this blasted virginity. She knew deep down that the pain couldn't be that bad, that this was natural.

  
Aiden pressed a kiss to her forehead before pushing himself the last bit of the way in. Her hands gripped his hips, a low whine escaping her. His eyes again met hers.

  
"Are you alright?"

She gave him a small, unconvincing nod, her face in a grimace.

  
At that he couldn't help but chuckle, nuzzling his face into her neck and peppering it with kisses.

  
"I'm sorry Ev. It'll get better." He smiled, his eyes level with hers now.

  
"But can I just say... that this feels incredible." He flinched before he even saw the anger flash in her eyes, mischievously knowing the unfairness of it would piss her off.

  
"You son of a bitch." She punched his shoulder, a smile forming despite herself.

  
"I'm serious, you feel amazing." He laughed, holding her tighter.

  
"Do you want to stop?" His green eyes glittered as he spoke, the sun shining in through the clearing. She really couldn't fathom denying him.

  
"No. Go on."

  
He began grinding his hips against hers, slowly at first. She liked feeling the weight of him, the closeness. Soon he began thrusting, and while this was less enjoyable, there was something more... _primal_ , about it that excited her. As his thrusts became more energized the pain eased somewhat. She even experienced some small sensations of pleasure, despite them being outweighed by the discomfort. She could hear herself moaning lightly, though she wasn't quite sure why, and she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly as she sensed he was nearing his end.

  
Right as he did, his labored breathing grew adorably staggered, and she felt her belly warm with pride at the notion that _she_ had caused that.

  
And then they heard the bell.

* * *

 

It wasn't the dinner bell. It rang not only once, but three times. Her head had sprung northward to look towards the sound, her attention stolen from the moment. Fear stopped her heart, and her thoughts raced.

  
_Have we been found out? What will happen to Aiden? Will he be discharged from the ranks? No... will they transfer him?_

  
She came back to her present reality when her lover exited her, and she cringed in pain, her sex throbbing. She turned her head back to look at him, and noticed that his expression too, looked worried.

  
"We should head back Ev. I don't know what's gone wrong." He looked genuinely sorry, and she realized he regretted that they couldn't stay and revel in what had just happened between them. Little did he know, she had no other desire but to get back to the tower before they were discovered, her brazen confidence leaving her entirely.

  
"Might it be us?" She asked quickly, her hands grasping for her robes.

  
"No. Those were three blows of a horn. They only use those when there's grave news. We're not so important as that." He replied, his eyes faraway, looking towards the tower as he dressed.  
Evelyn stood up, trying to right herself back to her original appearance, and dealing with the strong discomfort she felt below.

  
"You should go up ahead of me. I'm going to go through the main corridor, say I was out visiting my parents." He replied, buckling on his armor. She moved to grab the vial, and swallowed its bitterness quickly. She motioned to help him, but he brushed her away, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before hurrying her.

  
"Quick, they'll expect you back faster than me; you're not supposed to be further than the gardens."

  
He was right, and so she ran.

* * *

 

She arrived in the garden breathless, with leaves in her hair. She plucked them quickly as she glanced at her reflection in a pond, and she smoothed her robe to the best of her abilities. She hurried into the tower by way of an arched wooden door, coming into the vestibule that connected the garden with the Chantry chapel. This was where announcements were made, and where they were generally supposed to meet whenever any call other than the dinner bell was heard. The last time it'd occurred, Evelyn had been eleven and the Hero of Ferelden had defeated the Blight.

  
Everyone was bustling around, gossiping with one another, creating a loud cloud of whispers. She assumed the announcement had already been made. She looked around feverishly, looking for any friend, and luckily her eyes landed on Fee. She went over to her quickly.

  
"What's happened, why all the commotion?"

  
Fee's face was one of shock too far mixed with fear to have much animation to it. She was nearly expressionless.

  
"I've been looking for you everywhere." She paused, looking at Evelyn and knowing something of what her words might invoke in her friend.

  
"There's news of a rebellion in Kirkwall."

  
Evelyn's eyes widened as if to say _So?_

  
Fee swallowed before continuing.

  
"A _mage_ rebellion."


	2. Chaos

Fee had been right about what such an event would invoke in her childhood friend.

Evelyn was entirely conflicted.

The days following the announcement had ushered in a silent distrust between mage and Templar in the once more lenient Ostwick Circle. Both sides remained civil, despite the _precautionary measures_ that were being implemented. No mage had publicly declared support for the rebellion, nor run away, yet. But what was whispered between different factions was an entirely different matter. The tower felt like it was bubbling with intrigue, all below the surface.

Evelyn found herself in the garden, which was now opened only from the small window of noon to two. The burgeoning flowers, herbs, and vegetables, with their vibrant colors, did little to brighten her mood. She noted that there were five Templars in the garden, as opposed to the usual two. Aiden was not present. She took herself to a bench at the east end of her enclosure, her posture meek enough to avert attention, but her scowl glued to her face.

For the last couple of days her thoughts had been a jumble, like hungry birds bullying each other for whatever scrap of food had just been tossed their way. They would heave in one direction before turning in another, and she felt that she would never narrow in on any of the issues she needed to form an opinion on. Her anxiety was choking her.

She dropped her head into her palms, her elbows on her knees as her body leaned forward. She took a few deep breaths, the nearest Templar eyeing her.

When she felt sufficiently calm, she lifted her head, her gaze staring ahead blankly towards the woods surrounding the Circle beyond the gate. She began the conversation she needed to have with herself.

_Alright. So the Circle of Kirkwall has rebelled against their Templars. Serves them right, being as overzealous as they were. They were stifling and blood-thirsty. Kinda like all of them, in truth._

_.But Aiden's a Templar_  


_O_ _K. So not all Templars are bad, but I should still be wary. I am not free to leave these walls if it suits me, and Aiden is as much a part of that as any other Templar. He is still my captor, however much that role has faded, and I can't forget that. Shouldn't I and all mages be free, contributing to the world as we see fit?_

_.But harm would come to others... and I love him_  


_Do I really though? I certainly care for him, and have all the desire in the world to see him right now and discuss this, but he's avoided me like the Taint the last couple of days. Which, while understandable due to the scrutiny, is also incredibly rude considering what else happened on that day. And harm can come as easily from a mercenary as a mage._

_.He's a child_

_He's two years older than me, he's no child._

_.But he is, and I knew that going in_  
_No one but a child would have succumbed_  
_.so quickly to temptation, to their charge_

_... I'll have to speak to him.  
_

That solved one issue. Despite whatever obstacle stood in her way, including his own avoidance, Evelyn had to speak with Aiden as soon as possible. It was the only way around that particular anxiety.  


_Now then, back to the Templars. My argument is rife with cons; what are the pros?_

_.They protect the world against mages_   
  


_I am no more harmful than any swordsman. Just because simpletons can't comprehend my magic as they do a brute's strength, doesn't make me any more dangerous._

_?And blood magic_

_... Should be persecuted. But we do not jail street urchins who will grow up to be cutpurses before their crimes are committed._

_But is the death toll of one blood mage not higher_  
_?than that of one thief? What of the Tevinter Imperium_  
_?What of slavery_

  
_That was Tevinter-- not all the world. Marcher cities are free now, and I do not believe that mages nor regular humans should take precedence over each other in governance. Power should be representative of the populations, not taken and wielded by only one faction._

She sighed, her eyes narrowed in concentration, though she looked at nothing in particular. In her heart she wanted nothing more than to be free to do and be whoever she wished. She did not believe in Circles, nor Templars, nor even really in the Maker. But logically, she understood the fears directed against mages, since their power could be so lethal. But again, was she so scary compared to Aiden, who towered over her and swung a sword like no other man she'd ever seen?

_Well, you aren't really experienced with sword-swinging men outside of the small batch of Templars at Ostwick, so for all you know, he could be shit._

She groaned and rolled her eyes at the thought of him. Putting him back in the "Pending," category where he belonged, she turned back to the mage and Templar problem in general. She felt she'd gathered enough of her thoughts to form solid opinions on the matter, ones which she could defend. Never mind the nagging questions that continued to bog her down; this matter could be categorized as "Complete." Relatively.

Now what to _do_ about all this mess?

Should she petition the First Enchanter to join the rebellion?

No; she rejected such a step, not only for fear of her own safety, but also because she wasn't sure she wanted to be part of the rebellion. While in theory she agreed with their cause, she had little to no idea of their methods, and had heard only violent reports.

Was apostasy now a viable option?

No; she didn't want to spend her life running, hiding. Nor did she think she could escape the Circle at this moment.

_So how the fuck can you make yourself useful to the world?_

She steeled her jaw and stood, a new energy evident in the lines of her body.

* * *

  
Her audience with the First Enchanter a week later had been brief, but Evelyn had made her thoughts known. She had never been particularly close with her, but they shared a mutual respect for one another that time and talent had wrought, if not compatibility.

Despite this, Evelyn and the Enchanter completely agreed on what they ought to be striving for.

Peace.

A sizable part of her conscience kicked itself for not having chosen to stand for the complete overthrow of the Circles. But the larger part of her knew that such a stance would not serve her, or rather, that she could not serve it from her current situation.

_Change comes slowly, especially for those who wield no power, myself included._

However bitter she felt, she knew that before the Circles could fall, peace would have to be sought. They needed to broker stability and only then could talks between the two parties begin in earnest so that a compromise ( _favoring us, please_ ) could be reached.

_Maker, I hate this._

* * *

 

The biggest cause of worry now was Aiden.

Weeks had passed with not a single word from him. She passed him in the hallways daily, and dropped a small note more than once right at his feet, none of the other Templar guards the wiser. He never so much as glanced at her, and she never found responses in any of their designated areas.

_He's through with me. He's had me, the rebellion has him spooked, and now he's through with me._

The hurt and anger she felt at her dreadful thoughts grated on her humor more and more with the passing time. Worst of all was not knowing what he was actually thinking, what had actually made him remove himself from her. Too much time had passed for her to attribute his silence to caution, and she felt miserable at such a blatant rejection.

But not so miserable that she didn't also feel a searing anger boiling in her blood lately, that made her want to rip into him like an animal.

She wavered between fury and melancholy, all in secrecy. No one could know, especially not at a time like this. She wore the guise of someone enthralled with the politics of the rebellion, when more often than not she was brimming with emotion over her first lover.

Only Bash knew of her indiscretion, and only he comforted her.

"I know this isn't how it works, but can't you just try to forget him, Ev? That bloody Templar isn't worth your time, or your tears." He asked her earnestly one day, the two of them seated together in a windowed alcove in one of the Tower's libraries, the curtains mostly covering them from prying ears and eyes.  
  
"No; I _need_ to know what happened. More than his rejection, it's the silence that's killing me. I swear, if I don't have answers, I'm going to-- ugh, that's exactly it, what can I do?! I want to beat the answers out of him but I can't even get him to see me!" She huffed in a whisper, the color in her cheeks rising, her eyes aflame.

"And I don't cry." She added, sounding like a surly child.

Bash had only ever seen Evelyn like this on one other occasion, and that had been after her parents had visited her at the Circle, age fifteen. It had taken her weeks to get back to normal, but after that it had seemed like his friend had developed a granite skin. She could get angry, she could get sad, but never for longer than a day. She was supposed to be the strong one in their group. He hated this.  
  
His hand rose to squeeze her shoulder. A few seconds passed before his eyes widened slowly as a thought struck him.  
  
"You know, the night before last, Aiden was stationed outside of my room for the night. I had gone to the lavatory across the hall, and there was a noise; he went to check the spare closet at the end of the hall. I saw him coming out of it as I returned to my room. I... I could leave my room and tell him I heard something, and that it seemed to be coming from the closet. I don't know, I could pretend I heard it as I was going to or from the bathroom or whatever. When he goes to check, you could be waiting for him. It's pretty cramped, but there should be room for one _quiet_ conversation." The last part he stressed, his chin dropping threateningly as he looked at his best friend.  
  
Evelyn had been listening intently, her sharp eyes focused. She gave a curt nod in dismissal of his final sentence, and quickly countered.  
  
"How do I get in that closet? The hall's lined with Templars."  
  
"The South Stair. It connects the Chantry Chapel up to that closet. You'd have to spend quite a while there, faking a need to pray before catching a moment to steal up the stairs. During dinner, you could easily make it to the closet, and stay there until you hear me tell him I heard something."  
  
Evelyn's eyes were now wide with appreciation. She was impressed. "Maker, Bash, that just might work." A smile started pulling at her lips.  
  
"I'm here to serve." He replied happily, grateful to see her brighten momentarily. Only after her laugh did she come to the only hitch in his plan.  
  
"But wait... Aiden isn't outside your door every night. How will I know which night he's been put on guard?"  
  
Bash bit his lip, knowing this part would annoy her.  
  
"You don't. You'll have to do this every night until the rotation, which is random, finds him at my door again." Her mouth gaped in horror.  
  
"Every night... praying, and then twiddling my thumbs in a closet..." She murmured, her eyes wide.  
  
"And I suppose I'll have to sleep there too... and at dawn hustle down to the Chantry so everyone just assumes I'm praying before I break my fast." She muttered the last bit with distaste.  
  
Bash laughed, knowing how lacking his friend was in faith.  
  
"It shouldn't be too many nights. Besides... you probably have plenty to confess, after seducing all these Templars."  
  
At that the sparkle of mischief in Evelyn's eyes returned, and she smiled as she punched his shoulder.  
  
"Oh, shut up."


	3. An Audience

Evelyn was exhausted.  
  
Her body ached from sleeping on the hard floor of the dusty closet, in which she'd spent the last four nights. Her knees were sore from kneeling at the altar every morning and every evening, for much longer than she had ever seen any other person do. She couldn't imagine what her peers made of her, especially since she had never before shown such piety. One girl had even asked her if there had been a death in her family. Evelyn had only bowed her head politely and smothered her scoff.  
  
_What family? And what good would my pleading to the Maker do if they were already dead?  
_  
But all her effort was to be rewarded tonight, finally. She had gone to the chapel for dinner as she had done for days now, and slipped her way up the South Stair when she was certain no one was looking at her. She starved throughout the night, only being able to sneak in a few snacks to tide her over. Her own roommates were under the impression that Evelyn was off with Bash most nights, and that she simply came in late and left early while they slept. She wasn't sure how they married that thought with all her praying, but they had noticed her mood and let her be. For the most part.  
  
Fee, who had begun to grow suspicious of Evelyn and Bash's relationship, was becoming harder and harder to lie to. Evelyn tended to have a hard time masking her emotional state around her, and Fee attributed the hurt in Evelyn's eyes to some blunder on Bash's part. She chastised him often, yelling at him to make things right with her friend before she dealt with him, but Bash would laugh and assure her nothing was wrong. Evelyn was simply feverishly involved with the First Enchanter in bringing peace back to Thedas, and perhaps a little ethically troubled about the whole thing. He wasn't entirely wrong, and Evelyn thanked the Maker that her faux man knew her well enough that he could lie convincingly about her. Yet still, Fee hesitated to believe them.  
  
She'd have to confess to Fee and Adrina, she knew. Her closest friend had a right to know, and lying to her proved harder with every passing week that Aiden ignored her.  
  
She'd had a lot of time these last couple of days to think, what with all the waiting around. And better yet, she'd had time _alone_ to think. Privacy was a rare enough thing in the Circle and despite her discomfort she was grateful for a break from guarding her emotions.  
  
This lack of restraint, however, allowed her to give in. She might enter the closet each night with determination and anger anchoring her, but by the middle of the night her passion would burn out, and all that remained was a silent sadness that provoked her with memories of their courtship, marring them.

 

 

*****

_"I understand the need to prove yourself, I really do, but maybe you should_ not _play Bloody Knuckles with Bash." Evelyn chastised Fee with a knowing smile as she healed and bandaged up the mage's hand. The game was an old one, where two people would place a coin in between their respective knuckles and grind it into one another's until someone let up. With mages however, different spells were applied to either burn, freeze, or stone fist an opponent, making the game a lot more dangerous. It seemed to be Fee and Bash's favorite pastime._

_"He's just so bloody arrogant about it! The fuck_ laughed _when I said he stood no chance. Can you believe that?!" She replied, flexing her once singed fingers, her expression incredulous. Evelyn repressed a laugh.  
_  
_"One more pissing contest , Fee, and you'll have no hand." Adrina's voice swam into the room, her body appearing shortly after. Her arms were full of vials and books, but she managed them gracefully, as she did all things. She even smirked gracefully.  
_  
_"I--" Fee's rebuttal was cut off as the nearest door to the infirmary was swung open brusquely, two Templars walking in. One walked, one limped.  
_  
_"You there," The helmeted one jerked his head towards Evelyn, his arm steadying the other man.  
_  
_Fear pricked at her nerves, but she quickly pushed it down. One of them was obviously hurt, so the reason for their coming was explained. Her robes designated her seniority, so it made further sense that she'd been singled out. But why they had come here, rather than to their own healers, she didn't know. She turned her body to face both men, her hands clasped in an attempt to not fidget.  
_  
_"Yes?" She asked evenly, as Fee scooted off of the bench, moving to stand near Adrina in the other corner of the room. Both mages looked on suspiciously, their eyes narrowed, even as they meekly moved out of the way.  
_  
_"This man needs his foot mended-- had a bad fall." He guffawed, thumping his palm against the other man's back in camaraderie. Evelyn saw the wince of pain on the injured man's face as he was rocked forward by the gesture, catching himself with a pained step. Instinctively, she took a step towards him, her arm reaching out to steady him at the elbow. He raised an eyebrow in surprise at her touch, but didn't shrug her off. Evelyn swallowed.  
_  
_"Yes, uh... You can sit over here." She quickly removed her hand from his elbow, and instead pointed to the bench Fee had previously occupied. The young man hobbled over, favoring his right foot.  
_  
_The helmeted Templar had already assumed watch at the main entrance, eyes settled on nothing and everything. The infirmary was big enough that he was out of earshot, especially with the din of the other occupants. Adrina began depositing the different contents of her arms in various cupboards in the room, and Fee pretended to help her, all while both kept an eye on Evelyn.  
_  
_Turning towards the wounded Templar, Evelyn's eyes met his, and she felt her stomach lurch. He had the most startling green eyes she'd ever seen, set underneath a strong brow. They stared up at her through thick lashes, and she felt the urge to_ run _. She hadn't seen him before, and if she had he'd been wearing a helmet.  
_  
_Looking down at his foot, she squeezed her hands together tighter._ They shouldn't be allowed to be this handsome _, she thought.  
_  
_"You hurt your foot?" She began, painfully self-conscious of the obviousness of her question. Normally she'd have already had the boot off, foot examined, and would have either been whipping something up or healing it with spells. But she had never tended to a Templar before-- she wasn't even sure she was supposed to be doing so.  
_  
_He laughed softly despite his discomfort, and Evelyn's eyes grew wide.  
_  
Or friendly _, she added mentally.  
_  
_"Yes I... well, I made a bit of a fool of myself. We were sparring and I didn't look up in time-- got pummeled into by a shield, landed poorly on my ankle. But honestly, it hurts more than it ought to, though I know it's not broken..." She could feel his gaze set on her intently, but she didn't dare look him in the eye. He spoke too informally, too comfortably, for her to feel at ease, as if the situation wasn't bizarre enough. She'd never known anything past a cold sort of kindness from a Templar, and even that was rare.  
_  
_She nodded her head, turning away towards her work table, not trusting herself to reply. She had a few potions already prepped, and she made for the red little vial she knew would alleviate the pain and begin to mend whatever he had managed to mangle.  
_  
_As she turned back to face him, he wore a slightly bashful expression.  
_  
_"You're probably wondering why I showed up here." He cleared his throat, adjusting himself on the seat.  
_  
Is he... is he trying to make conversation with me? _  
_  
_She gaped at him for longer than was probably socially acceptable, before finding a single word.  
_  
_"Yes..." She said slowly, unaware that she was_ allowed _to wonder. She handed him the potion and he downed it in one fell swoop, seemingly accustomed to the bitter taste.  
_  
_"Well-- I've managed to anger just about every healer we have." He laughed, an embarrassed pink spreading across his cheeks.  
_  
Is that-- is he fucking blushing?

_"I'm not very good at laying off injuries or coming back for check-ups. This is the fourth time this month the foot's given me trouble. Didn't feel like being harangued." He shrugged, a close-lipped smile on his face as he glanced up at her.  
_  
_She tried to even out her perplexed expression, not wanting to offend him. This man had to be new-- no seasoned Templar would act so impulsively, so... childishly.  
_  
_Despite herself, she found it endearing.  
_  
_"I see." She shifted her weight, a hesitant smile on her lips.  
_  
_"Um, the potion can mend most of it, but it'll take longer than you've admitted you'll allow it. I can, uh, heal it for you, but that would..." she stopped herself, unsure of why she'd even begun offering in the first place.  
_  
_"Would what?" He asked gently, his eyes bright. She cleared her throat.  
_  
_"I'd have to touch you." She replied, and immediately regretted her wording. His eyes widened slightly, but his smile grew.  
_  
_"Your foot, I mean. I'd need direct physical contact and I could have it healed in fifteen minutes if it's only a sprain, twenty if it's a fracture." Her words came out in a flurry, her eyes averted.  
_  
_He gave a small laugh, nodding his head. She felt her cheeks grow hot. Was her flustering laughable?  
_  
_"That's fine. That quickly, you think?" He asked, and she thought she heard a tinge of mischievous challenge. Maker, where did they find this overgrown child?  
_  
_She didn't respond as he began removing the armor from his shin, and then began on his boot, the actions easier now that the potion was hitting him. Evelyn rolled up the sleeves of her robe and crouched down near his ankle, admiring the strong shape of his calf despite herself.  
_  
_"It'll feel like a balm, but if any bone is chipped or fractured it'll hurt. The potion will help though, and I'll work faster if the pain is too much." She didn't meet his eyes as she spoke. A part of her wondered why she was being courteous with him, why she didn't just go through the motions in silence. He had a way about him, something that drew her in despite all her past experience. Never mind the fact that he was probably the handsomest man she'd ever met.  
_  
_She felt him nod, and slowly she reached out for his foot, her fingers soft over his skin. His ankle was entirely swollen, so she began there, lightly running her fingertips over the area in a figure 8, injecting her magic into him without him even realizing it.  
_  
_He gave a low grunt, and she looked up at him from beneath her lashes, stilling her hands.  
_  
_"Does it hurt?" She asked, softer than she meant to.  
_  
_"No, uh, it tickles." He coughed, looking a little embarrassed. "Don't mind me." He urged her to continue, and she resumed tracing random figures around his ankle, coming to rest more comfortably on her haunches. Before long the swelling had reduced considerably, and she chanced another look up at him, only to find him staring at her intently. She lowered her eyes quickly, unsure if she'd imagined the heat in his gaze.  
_  
_"How many years have you been in the Circle?" He asked her easily enough, as if this entire situation wasn't ridiculous.  
_  
_"About 15, I believe." She felt a strange tug coming from the opposite side of his ankle, and she bit her lip, wondering if she should surprise him with the pain or warn him.  
_  
_He whistled low. "But judging by your robes, you're leagues ahead of where you ought to be. With healing, I mean." He cleared his throat again. He did that plenty, didn't he?  
_  
_"I suppose." She answered slowly, her eyes coming up to meet his.  
_  
_"Listen, it's going to hurt now. Should I do it all in a flash or should I pace it out? It'll hurt less but for longer."  
_  
_"All at once." He replied, not even considering it. She gave him a small smile, before wrapping both her hands around his ankle, her head level with his knee.  
_  
_"One, two..."  
_  
_"Mother of-- FUCK." He squirmed under her touch, his knuckles white as they gripped the edge of the bench while Evelyn poured all of her mana into him. She let go, her head a little woozy, and she began to fall back from her haunched position onto her bottom. The pain gone in an instant, he grabbed her by the elbow before she fell, pulling her towards him. She caught herself at his knee, her breathing a little ragged. After a moment, she felt steady enough to stand, her cheeks hot with embarrassment._

_That was when she noticed the earlier Templar had arrived, his stance tense.  
_  
_"I--I'm sorry." She mumbled quickly, taking a step back from them.  
_  
_"No, no, Cyril it's fine. She just tripped." Her Templar assured him, already on his feet, walking in a small circle on his bare foot.  
_  
_"It's perfect." He said with a grin, his eyes finding hers. The other Templar grunted, and made his way back to the far door.  
_  
_"How did you..." His eyes shown with admiration, as the gears clicked. "Did you pour all your mana into me?" His voice was soft with gratitude.  
_  
_Evelyn merely nodded, her breathing finally near righting itself, but her nerves still shaky.  
_  
_"I'm sorry I nearly fainted, I've never healed a non-mage before, I assume you required more than I'm used to and that's why--" He cut of her explanations with a wave of his hand and he began to replace his boot and armor, a few strands of pitch black hair falling across his eyes.  
_  
_"Don't worry about it. Thank you, honestly." He stood, back to full health, towering over her.  
_  
_"Might I come and see you again..." He let his words trail, his eyes widening as he realized they hadn't introduced each other.  
_  
_"Evelyn." She replied, and she could have sworn her mouth was dry.  
_  
_"Evelyn. I'm Aiden. But uh, yeah. If it were to act up again, would you mind?" She didn't understand the slight anxiety she read in his eyes.  
_  
_"You don't have to ask." She mumbled low, and she saw the hope in his eyes falter slightly.  
_  
_"But yes. Come by whenever." She added, instinctively aiming to please him. He brightened at that, his smile wide. Maker he was beautiful.  
_  
_"I will. Thank you, again." With that he walked off towards the other Templar, his walk loose and limber and... a little victorious?  
_  
_As the two men exited the room, Aiden turned back to throw her one last smile._

  
_***_

_"See?" He whispered to the other Templar, Cyril, once they were outside the infirmary. He made to put his helmet back on.  
_  
_"Yes, yes. I've known that girl since she was 8. She's feistier than she lets on. You may fawn from afar as much as you want, but don't let me catch yo--"_  
_  
"Doooon't worry, I just wanted a change of scenery. It gets depressing, staring into Claire's sour face." He joked, happy with the way things had gone though he wasn't quite sure what he was doing.  
_  
_"I'm going to tell Claire you said that." Cyril laughed, shaking his head.  
_  
_"She is beautiful though, isn't she?"  
_

***

_Fee and Adrina made their way over to Evelyn, who herself had sat down on the bench, her expression bewildered.  
_  
_Adrina sat next to her friend, placing her hand over hers. Fee stood in front of her, staring at her with wide eyes.  
_  
_"What the fuck was that about?"  
_  
_"I have no idea."_

_*****_

Evelyn's thoughts re-entered the present at the small sounds of a guard on duty; the sound of armor grazing a stone wall, or creaking as he or she stretched in their boredom. Her cheek was pressed to the wooden door, her body shivering in the cold, damp closet. She could hear her own breathing, catching every time she thought she heard a voice or a door open, waiting and hoping that when Bash went to relieve himself tonight, she would hear him speak to her Templar, and Aiden would be forced into a confrontation.  
  
How that confrontation went was another matter. Evelyn had calmed her fears by rationalizing that a man so desperate to avoid her would rather meet her in secrecy than expose himself to others, which she planned to threaten him with if he dared to walk away before she had answers. Her ruthlessness in this surprised her, and she swallowed against the shame of threatening someone she cared for so deeply. Closing her eyes for a second, she steeled herself quickly against her weak emotions, against her memories.  
  
_He's hurt me, and he owes me answers. An apology, at least._  
  
The sound of moving hinges snapped her body to attention, her ears pricked and ready. A few seconds passed in silence, and for a moment Evelyn forgot to breath.  
  
And then she heard Bash's friendly voice.  
  
And the sound of footfalls, growing louder as they neared her door.  
  
She backed away from the door slightly, smoothing the front of her dress instinctively, nervously. Her eyes were wide in anticipation, but they squinted as the dim light of the hall fell into the pitch black room. She reached out with her hands before her eyes had adjusted to the light, and pulled on the breastplate, pulling it's wearer into the room, and quickly closing the door behind him expertly, not a sound reaching the further bend of the hall.  
  
The Templar hadn't had time to react to the mage in front of him, and the sound of surprise had died on his lips once he realized who he had just found. His surprise evaporated, his expression replaced with something that made Evelyn start when she turned to look at him in the dark room.  
  
He looked as though it was taking everything in him to not throttle her, his expression thunderous, his body tense.  
  
"Evelyn..." He warned, his voice low.  
  
"Aiden." She said matter-of-factly, placing both of her hands on her hips, his anger giving rise to her own. If this was how he wanted to play it, it was fine by her.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"An audience. So you can either defend yourself, or prove yourself the bastard I've pegged you for." Her tongue dripped with acid, but a small part of her disliked the way she was reacting. This was ugly.  
  
"Evelyn we can't do this, we'll get caught. I have to go back before someone wonders where I've gone." She could read the slight hint of desperation in his voice now, but as he reached for the door, she blocked it with her body. He took a step away from her.  
  
"It will only take you a minute to explain why you've acted as you have, you won't be missed."  
  
His mouth opened as though to speak, but he closed it shut before he could. She felt a twang of pity drop in the pit of her stomach for making him squirm. _He deserves it_ , she reminded herself.  
  
"Please. I'm not asking for things to return to what they were, I just want you to explain." She took a step towards him in the cramped room, and he had no where else to go.  
  
"Your silence is eating away at me Aiden. I need... closure." As she spoke she had taken one of his hands, the softness she still held for him seeping through her shell. Her eyes glistened with tears she hadn't let herself shed in the weeks since the rebellion, but still they remained unshed.  
  
Looking down at her, his vision now fully adjusted, Aiden lightly squeezed her hand before letting go of it.  
  
"Maker, Evelyn, please don't cry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I've been foolish, so foolish. As much as I care for you, I shouldn't have ever lead... I was wrong. We were wrong, we should never have done this. You are my charge, and I swore an oath--"  
  
"You've never cared about that fucking oath." She interjected, her distaste for the order showing through.  
  
"I _do_ care." He responded, his voice even, as though it were almost a warning.  
  
"You didn't seem to care all those months you spent groping me in every room of this goddamn tower." She challenged, heat and hurt coating her words.  
  
"You didn't seem to care in the clearing." Despite herself, she choked on her words. She had not spoken aloud the feelings that had followed that day, the sense of complete rejection, of abandonment, of being used. Bringing it up brought those feelings bubbling to the surface, and they threatened to unravel her.  
  
She was jolted from her self-pity when his hands gripped her shoulders tightly, giving her a small shake.  
  
"I care now." He replied fervently, his face near enough to kiss.  
  
"And for me no longer?"  
  
The green of his eyes softened, and Evelyn could feel her heart breaking. Had he been cruel, had he pushed her away, this would have been easier. Had he been wrong, this would have been easier.  
  
But she could see, she could _feel_ , that he had cared for her, in his boyish way.  
  
"No." He replied softly. "I don't, Evelyn, not anymore. I can't, I'm sorry." His hands dropped from her shoulders, and Evelyn could feel a tear caressing her cheek.  
  
"How do you just shut it off like that?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes wide.  
  
"I... I'm a Templar. I cannot be romantically involved with a mage. I do not _want_ to be romantically involved with a mage."  
  
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"  
  
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking away from her uncomfortably.  
  
"You think too much, Ev. Even if our situation had allowed it, you wouldn't have been happy with me. I don't have your curiosity, your drive. And though I admire them in you, I don't want them. I'm content with where I am. I am a Templar."  
  
"You've said that." She replied grumpily.  
  
"You see? You have no patience for me. At the end of the day, I'm just a farm boy turned Templar, and you're going to _be_ someone Evelyn. Mage or no mage, I see it in you, but I can't be a part of it. I serve the order."  
  
His words surprised her, the depth of his analysis something she thought him incapable of. But she chose to ignore his words, and instead focused on her anger.  
  
"How can I be _anything_ when your _order_ keeps me imprisoned, Aiden?! Don't you see, that your order is the very reason the world's turned to shit?" She spoke in loud whispers, her hands moving in front of her.  
  
"You serve blindly, and that is just... stupid! You're a puppet for the Chantry, a glorified overseer that sits and waits for a _person_ to fall vulnerable before you feast on them like a vulture! You're the danger, not me." She was pounding her fists against his breastplate with every few words, her anger and hurt boiling over as she spilled too much of the truth, too much of what she felt.  
  
At first he let her rail, but soon she was being too loud, and he gripped her wrists tightly.  
  
"Evelyn, calm down." He spoke evenly, his eyes glancing towards the door.  
  
"Don't tell me to calm down." She spoke through gritted teeth, and tried to free her wrists but he wouldn't let go.  
  
"Calm. Down." His eyes were harder now, cautioning her to not test him.  
  
Her rage flared, and before she could think better of it, she bowed her head and mind blasted him.  
  
The force of the blast was lessened due to his own resistance to magic, but he still staggered back against compiled boxes, shock playing on his face. It took only an instant for his expression to darken, and he was on her soon after. He pushed her against the wooden door roughly, making more noise than was advisable. His hands pinned her shoulders to the door, and she could feel him draining the rest of her mana.  
  
"Do _not_ do this Evelyn. I will cut you down if I have to." He spoke too loud, and Evelyn's body went completely still at his words.  
  
They stood like this for a what felt like a long time, the crush of his hands on the bones of her shoulders, her body growing increasingly weak from the loss of magic. Her mouth was slack in amazement, and to his benefit, shame shone in his expression.  
  
Slowly he let her go. She quickly crossed her arms across her shoulders, holding herself.  
  
"I'm sorry. Do not seek me out again." His voice was low and distant, his body rigid.  
  
He moved around her, opening the door and shutting it behind him.  
  
Evelyn heard a small sob, and realized it came from her own body. She dropped to the ground, her mouth open with a silent cry that grew to rack through her body as she finally let the tears stream freely down her face. The adrenaline and anger of the moment faded into pure grief.  
  
_I will cut you down if I have too..._  
  
She touched her forehead to the cool, stone floor.  
  
"Fade take me." She whispered, and gave into her tears for the first time in a long time.


	4. Year One

"We _must_ have order, Evelyn, or risk what's happening elsewhere. I will **not** go against the Templars." First Enchanter Lydia whispered the last part of her statement, but it was no less firm.

"I'm not asking you to go against them! I'm only asking that you negotiate with them, ask them to back off! They've become more tyrannical, more cruel, into the new year and they are only getting worse." Evelyn was trying to keep her composure, but she was failing. It had been nearly a year since the Kirkwall Rebellion, and the stricter measures and unpunished abuses by the Ostwick Templars had reached new heights. And her lengthy conversation with the person who was supposed to care about their well-being was proving more than unsatisfactory.

"Yes, but I have no authority over them, as you well know. I do not need to remind you, _again_ , of what happened to the last First Enchanter to push the Templars, nor of what happened to his mages. It would mean war Evelyn."

"We are **already** at war woman!" Evelyn burst out, her fist pounding into the Enchanter's intricately carved wooden desk. A few loosed strands of hair fell across her eyes, which burned in frustration.

"Whether we admit it or not, whether we cower like the cowards that we **are** , or not, hundreds of Circles are at war with their Templars." She paused, knowing she was going too far. She reined herself in.

"I don't want bloodshed-- but I _at least_ demand what little respect we used to have before this all happened." She spoke evenly, but loud and clear for all three of the Templar guards outside the doors to hear.

"We are rarely allowed to speak to one another, even during mealtimes, for fear of conspiracy. Those of us with families are not allowed visitation. They beat the children when they misstep. And by now they've made a total **six** of us Tranquil. You must do _something_ , or Maker help me Lydia, **I will**." Her fists were grounding into the First Enchanter's desk, her shoulders tense. She did not break eye contact with her superior, and she could see the beginnings of fear pooling in the woman's eyes.

_No, not the beginnings. She's always been afraid. You don't make it that high without playing toady._

Sure enough, the First Enchanter rallied, and stood a little taller.

"Ser Aiden!" She called out, her expression stern. She would not tolerate such insolence, even from such a useful apprentice.

Evelyn's chest tightened. She'd noted he'd been on duty outside, but she hadn't expected this meeting to go south, nor had she expected the First Enchanter to pick him to escort her to...

"What are you doing? Where am I going?" She asked, quickly regaining her wits. Panic began to pull at her, and she spun halfway when the doors opened and she saw him standing there, his green eyes visible through the slits in his helmet.

"Escort Enchanter Evelyn to a cell for the evening." Lydia refused to look at Evelyn as the younger woman's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock. The last person who'd been sent to the cells had been in there for a month.

_And he hadn't threatened his First Enchanter._

The panic set in firmly, and when Aiden moved to grab her by the elbow, she stepped back, her knees trembling as she bumped into the desk. Had it been anyone else, she may have been able to go with some dignity. But the idea of being man-handled by him, of being subordinate to him, grated on her until she felt raw.

He had her by the forearm, but she shoved him off, giving a small cry.

"No, please. Lydia, I'm begging you! Don't send me down there, please!" She could hear the desperation in her voice, and it made her even more upset. She hated acting like this in front of her, in front of him.

"Ser Warren!" Aiden called towards the doors, realizing he was going to need assistance if he was going to _get_ her anywhere.

"I will send for her when I have need of her. Treat her gently, Sers, please." Lydia cringed slightly at the roughness with which the second man had clamped down on Evelyn's arm.

"Please, please, please!" Evelyn was begging, screaming, knowing and fearing what awaited her in the cells. Hunger, filthiness, darkness. The possibility of being made Tranquil. She was pushing against both men to little avail, and had begun to kick at their legs, but the skirts of her robes softened the blows.

"Fucking Fade, let's smite the bitch and be done with it." The other Templar growled, unmoved by her cries but highly offended by the kick to his shin.

"NO! Please, no, no!" Evelyn pleaded, her eyes on Aiden's. Urging him to side with her, urging him to defend her, despite everything.

 _He's smited you once before, he won't hesitate now_. She warned herself.

"Please, _Aiden_ , please, don't." She begged, tears spilling from her eyes as her hands grappled and shoved against them.

At the sound of his name, a softness came into his eyes. She hoped against herself that maybe he'd stop them, maybe he'd show leniency and suggest something else, something that would keep her away from the damp, dim cells. He was the most persuasive, convincing man she knew. He could help her.

_He loved me once didn't he?_

But the softness was quickly replaced with a hard determination, and Evelyn gave a cry as she realized he wouldn't help her, only bury her further.

His eyes flickered to the other Templar, and on a count of three they both smited her. Her legs gave out from under her, and she felt as though all of her mana had been _knocked_ out of her. She felt an unearthly emptiness, a dizzying faintness, that made her body sag and her mind fog. She tried to turn away from the men as she vomited, but they refused to let up an inch and she spewed her insides in front of her. Her body began to tremble in their arms, and her eyes began to close, her mind drifting.

Before her eyes finally closed, she saw the blurred pattern of straight, steel bars. She heard the clank of their closing, and then she heard no more.

* * *

 

Her stomach grumbled as she turned onto her side, the hard slab they called a mattress refusing to let her sleep. She ran a hand through the oily coils of her hair, wishing that the rats would quiet for the evening. Or well, she assumed it was evening. She'd lost track days ago.

Food was infrequent, at best once a day. She'd been in here what she assumed was going on two weeks, and it was always the same poor Tranquil who delivered her food and took her chamberpot.

_Maker, I'm going to wind up like him._

She groaned, turning onto her back once more. She could feel each individual rib touch the mattress, her already slight upper frame slighter. Her hands went to her belly as it tumbled and turned in agony again, but her attention caught as she heard the doors of the small hall open.

She was sitting up in an instant, her legs over the edge of the mattress, eager for even just a crumb.

At first she didn't quite believe who stood in front of her. The cells were small, spaced out to avoid prisoner conversations, and unlit, but Evelyn had gotten used to seeing in the dark quickly. She'd recognize that stance anywhere.

She was on her feet instantly, hope and excitement preying on her weakened state. Her hands trembled.

"Am I free to rejoin the others?" She asked after a moment, her voice low and unused.

Aiden shook his head 'no' slowly, and she could see the pity on his face. Her hopes quashed, she rose a hand to the wall to steady herself as she fought the urge to cry.

 _I'm a fucking fool. I'm never leaving here._ Her desperation echoed in her mind, despite her efforts.

"You're too skinny." His voice sounded rich and full in comparison to the quiet she'd become accustomed to, and she noted the dismayed awe in his eyes as they flickered over her. Her robes hung big on her smaller frame, she could feel that, and her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

"Don't look at me." She spat, her voice hoarser than normal, but just as venomous. He had no right to comment on her body when he was a part of why her health was deteriorating.

He flinched at that, but she refused to trust it.

"Why are you here?" With what little mana she had, she lit empty brazier on the wall behind him. He jumped a little at the sudden use of her magic, but he didn't back away from the bars. What did he want?

"I... I brought you..." He trailed off as he raised his left arm, showing her a heavy sack full of... apples?

"Why?" She asked, clearing her throat, taking a step closer to him despite her desire to remain aloof.

"The First Enchanter spoke with me. And I agreed." He lowered his eyes. Was that shame she had seen?

"She approached me early on, but I was... stubborn. It wasn't until the Tranquil told me you were withering away that I decided to come." He coughed, looking everywhere but at her.

"You spoke with Edward?" She asked, incredulous. She didn't trust Aiden, and she knew the Templars avoided speaking with Tranquils.

He let out a breath, his free hand running through his hair.

"I ask after you every now and then. I..." He inhaled.

"Feel guilty." He managed, exhaling. She eyed him warily, her expression unconvinced.

"Please just take the apples. I can't make the Tranquil bring anything to you because he doesn't know how to lie if pressed, and I'm already risking my neck by being here."

"Fuck you." She spoke so quietly she wasn't sure he heard her, but his sigh and the sag of his broad shoulders told her he had.

"I'm sorry, Ev. But you will get out of here. I have to go." The sorrow in his voice surprised her as he turned and walked out of the hall, leaving the sack near the widest set of bars so that she could reach them if she chose.

She sat down on the ground, her energy too low to continue standing. She stared at that sack for what felt like hours before she crawled over and pulled out an apple, biting into it slowly to savor it's juicy crispness.

She couldn't quite fathom what had happened.

And in this moment, she didn't want to.

* * *

 

When she finally saw sunlight again, she couldn't help but grin like an idiot. It wasn't much; the window was slight and the day gloomy, but the few rays that escaped the clouds seemed aimed right her, and they cheered her heavy heart.

She was taken to the lavatories first by the Templars, and urged to bathe away the grime of nearly two months worth of underground living. She had kept fairly clean with small ice spells that melted on her skin, but it had not been enough.

She didn't complain-- she'd never dreamt of a bath so blissful as this one.

Her frail bones sank beneath the water, but after a short while she heard the female Templar on guard tell her to hurry up. This seemed to be some new initiative, the lack of privacy encroaching.

She dressed in a robe that hadn't fit in years, but now hugged snugly. She hadn't shrunk much more after Aiden's appearance, seeing as he had kept her fed with a steady supply of fruits and vegetables every other day since. She hadn't had much in the way of protein, and so her body was still weak, but she fared better than she would have without him.

He had shown more of who she had fallen in love with in these last few weeks than he had in the last year. She had been wary of him the first couple of days, but she couldn't resist the food he brought. She was starving, and she reasoned with her pride that dwindling down to nothing would not serve her.

 _Nor would trusting him, so don't get carried away._ The cynic in her whispered.

He had been kind, his words reassuring. He wasn't brusque or harsh, and she found herself loving him for it. She knew he'd put her in there, but it had been at her First Enchanter's orders, not his. And he had showed that he cared for her, by accepting Lydia's request that he sneak her food. No other Templar would risk that for a random mage.

_Which begs the question-- does Lydia know?_

She guessed it didn't matter now, not with the world going to shit. And it was in the past-- her and Aiden had lain together nearly a year ago now.

She smoothed her robes with a sigh, stepping out from her empty dorm into the hall.

"All the mages are at dinner now. You may join them." Her stern female Templar announced, and Evelyn nodded her head slightly before hurrying towards real food, but most importantly, her friends.

She had never missed a group of people so much. At her appearance, Fee, Adrina, and Bash all stood from their seats and rushed over to her, causing a commotion in the otherwise quiet dining hall. The few mages that did speak were whispering, and Evelyn noted that the rule on silence had not been lifted. Oddly enough though, they all seemed to be staring at her with something more than idle curiosity...

Templars surrounded the group quickly, breaking them up and urging them back to their seats. They group did as they were told, the girls each holding Evelyn's arm or hand as they moved to sit down at their table.

"Maker, Evie, you're a skeleton!" Fee whispered vehemently, poking her in the ribs. Evelyn squirmed, nudging her friend. She had missed human contact.

"I'll have it _all_ back in no time, don't you worry." She quipped playfully, the joy and relief she felt at this moment overwhelming.

"You've been missed Ev, it's so good to have you back." Bash beamed at her from across the table, his foot touching hers.

"Don't go all Maverick on us again," Adrina put in dryly. "We thought we'd lose you." She added, the strain of the last two months crossing her expression. Evelyn reached over and squeezed her hand, before raising it to her mouth and planting a kiss on it.

"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered quietly. At that moment, another Templar at the front of the hall called for attention.

"Dinner is over. You all have ten minutes before you're to return to your rooms." He barked, and the noise in the room was instantaneous, the scraping of benches and the sounds of voices crescendoing as people got in what they had to say to each other quickly before their time was up.

Evelyn glanced down at Fee's half eaten bowl of soup. She reached for it, quickly raising it to her mouth and drinking it all in one huge gulp. Her friends stared at her, and she laughed once she was done, wiping her chin with the back of her hand.

"What?" She asked as she stood. As she turned, she bumped right into Demitrius, Bash's friend.

"Oh, sorry, hello!" She responded brightly as his hand came up to her forearm to steady her.

"Evelyn. I'm sorry to jump on you like this, but there isn't a lot of time." He spoke with a smile, seeming for all the world as though he was just welcoming her back.

"Oh?" She prompted, glancing over at her friends. They didn't seem surprised.

"They've made four more mages Tranquil. We've tried speaking with the First Enchanter, but she won't intervene. It seems she's determined to appease the Templars at every turn, even if it means making us all Tranquil. Care to help us?" Their group had started for the doors, and Demitrius had given her his arm as they walked.

The quickness of his question had her head spinning. She gaped at him for a moment before she responded.

"The last time I spoke to her I wound up in the dungeons. How do you propose _I_ help?" She asked, utterly bemused that he thought she had any answers.

"We meet when we can, usually arriving to things early so we can talk for a few minutes before. Join us. We could use you." He sounded as though he were inviting her to tea.

"Who's we? And to _do_ what?" She whispered frantically, her nerves riled. She wasn't ready to plot just yet. She'd barely convinced herself this wasn't just another dream. She turned her head, reassuring herself this was real as her three friends looked on at the two of them expectantly, whispering amongst themselves.

Demitrius stopped in front of her door, the two other girls standing a little just out of earshot. Evelyn could see the people piling into their rooms, Templars following behind them clearing the halls. As a few more mages disappeared into their rooms, she caught sight of Aiden, with that older Templar she'd seen in the clinic those two years ago. They were talking quietly, but she caught him glance her way.

"To unseat the First Enchanter and rid ourselves of the Templars." Demitrius whispered into her ear, before kissing her cheek and moving along down the hall.

She felt her cheeks grow hot at the unexpected kiss, and at the extremity of his proposal. Bash squeezed her shoulder as he walked on in silent support, and Fee and Adrina shuffled into their room as she held the door open, there eyes peeping up at her subtly. Before she went inside herself, she caught Aiden's eye on her again.

This time, they were a little harder.

* * *

 

"Fuck have you all been doing?" She asked instantly as the door clicked closed behind her. The other few girls in the room were busy prepping for sleep, and chit chatting, so Evelyn was careful to whisper.

"Plotting, you know." Fee answered with a bashful grin.

Evelyn turned towards Adrina, her face incredulous. The raven haired woman simply shrugged her shoulders.

"It's more productive." She reasoned, and Evelyn swallowed. She wasn't necessarily opposed to their scheming. It was becoming apparent that something had to be done. But Maker, this was _scary_ , the repercussions terrifying.

"If we're not all careful, we could end up Tranquil, or worse." Her voice was harsher than she meant, and she saw Fee flinch. As feisty as the young elf was, she didn't have the stomach for confrontation with those she was close to.

"We _are_ careful." Adrina said firmly, placing her hand in Fee's in encouragement.

Evelyn didn't like this. Usually she was the one suggesting the grandiose plans, the one having to convince them that the stakes were worth it. She felt as though the girls (and Bash and Demitrius, for that matter) weren't taking the matter seriously enough. If she'd only been present--

Evelyn worked to quiet her anger and fear, realizing that it was coming from a place of panic. The lack of control terrified her. She'd been more vulnerable in the last two months than she'd been in her entire life. Once free of the cells, she'd wanted nothing more than for things to return to normal. But she knew better than to wish for that mediocrity. And she knew that every day she had spent in those cells, although they were a fight all their own, had been a respite.

If she stopped to rest, it could meant he death of everyone she held dear.

"Demitrius mentioned wanting to unseat the First Enchanter. I'm obviously not her biggest fan, but what good would that do?" Evelyn asked after a moment, her jaw tight but her expression more open.

She heard Fee give a little sigh of relief before Adrina spoke.

"We knock her down and put you--"

"Me?" An eyebrow rose.

"--in her place. Then we rally behind you against the Templars." Adrina spoke as nonchalantly as ever, as though this were nothing. As though she wasn't proposing the overthrow of all any of them had ever known.

And she wanted Evelyn to spearhead it.

Her face must have conveyed her apprehension, because Adrina continued.

"I'm done being pushed around. I will not play the victim anymore." Her words were quiet, but firm.

"Adrina, Demitrius--"

"Didn't spend two months in the cells for defending us against the Templars. You're the only one who's had the gall to stand up for us here. You've suffered for it, but you've managed to stay alive. The mages know that, and they're looking towards you even if they don't say so, Ev." Adrina spoke calmly, but Evelyn could see she how tightly she held Fee's hand.

_That explains the looks._

"The last two Tranquil procedures were initiated by the First Enchanter." Fee whispered in an effort to convince her friend, taking a step towards Evelyn.

"The Templars were too happy to oblige, of course." Adrina mumbled in the background, turning away to change out of her robes.

Evelyn's eyes grew a little wide, unbelieving, despite herself.

"Why would she do that?" She breathed, feeling the sense of betrayal she'd felt in the cells tenfold.

"Intercepted correspondence. They were sending missives to the Grand Enchanter." Fee whispered as the other girls in the room settled into bed, eavesdropping while pretending not to. Evelyn looked around the room, a feeling of paranoia creeping over her. That feeling boiled her blood.

_She's creating a world where mages can't trust mages. The very woman set up to protect us is feeding us to our enemies._

She turned her head back, her hardened eyes meeting Fee's, and then Adrina's.

"We'll handle it." 

* * *

 

"Kevin can't be interested in Olivia, he's already betrothed to Emilie." Evelyn said, a little too loudly, as the Templar on duty strolled by her and Demitrius in the cloister. Days had passed since she agreed to join her friends. Her and Demitrius were meeting several minutes before the Chantry service, but so far had only been able to have a pretend discussion on _The Flaming Sword_. The Templars had stayed close to Evelyn since her release, and she felt as if there was one circling her at all times.

But as the one who had been within earshot finally left the cloister, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You had to pick the dirtiest bodice ripper known to man to discuss?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her as her eyes narrowed. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure they couldn't be overheard by the remaining Templars, before lowering her voice.

" _You_ pick next time. Now, you were saying."

"The others are meeting on the opposite side of this cloister. The five of us together is a little too obvious, so I figured if we keep the three inseparables together, and the newly infatuated pair over here," He pointed his index finger from him to her "We should be fine. And then we'll mix it up, keeping the numbers small so the information circulates."

Evelyn rolled her eyes.

"Why infatuated?"

He raised an eyebrow, smiling slyly.

"It's a good cover. It's worked once before." He shifted his weight so that he was closer to her, and Evelyn wanted to give him a shove.

"How the hell do you know about that?!" She demanded, angry at Bash for having told him. Demitrius was almost a stranger to her, and she was under the impression that no mage or otherwise had ever doubted her _inevitable_ romance with Bash. It had served them both too well, too often.

"Don't be upset. He has a soft spot for me." He laughed, raising his hand to brush the strands of hair from her eyes.

Evelyn could feel her cheeks reddening, despite knowing it was all a performance. Perhaps if it had been her idea, as it had been with Bash, she would have felt more comfortable.

"I could have just kept playing it up with him." She grumbled.

"Ah, but then one Templar in particular wouldn't have been convinced, now would he have?" His eyes looked beyond her, and Evelyn turned slowly, only to see Aiden posted at the entrance of the chapel doors. He didn't look their way, but she could tell from his stance and the set of his jaw that he was tense.

_Aren't they always, though?_

She quickly turned her head back to Demitrius, the anxiety in her eyes plain.

"I don't see how making him jealous is going to help us." She whispered, leaning into him.

_Wait. Would he even feel jealous?_

"We're doing more than making him jealous," He spoke softly, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks.

"We're making him volatile." He pressed his lips to hers softly, but lingered over her far longer than was permissible. When he finally broke the kiss, Evelyn stared at him, aghast.

"The more likely he is to do something stupid, the better for us. Ah, there he comes." Demitrius took a step back.

"You're a sadist." She breathed, her eyes wide as her body froze.

"You're welcome." He grinned, just as Aiden rounded on them.

"Distance, mages. No prolonged physical contact is permitted. You are both aware of the rules, are you not?" His gaze was heated as he settled it threateningly on Demitrius, before he looked at Evelyn and she saw a tinge of hurt hidden behind his veneer of professionalism.

_This is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong._

"Apologies. I got a little carried away Ser, it shan't happen again." Demitrius smiled, bowing his head.

Evelyn's mouth opened and closed. She had no idea what to say, and so she just averted her eyes and remained silent.

"As you were." Aiden replied curtly, turning on his heel and striding back to his post. Evelyn finally let out a breath, her hand reaching out for the stone wall they were near to steady herself.

"He must really like you. Either that or he's touchy about his possessions."

The loathing in Evelyn's eyes actually caused his smile to drop a fraction, but he didn't back down.

"He isn't--"

"No, Evelyn, he is a _Templar_. I realize you care for the man, but you've got to toughen up. We will not win this war with morality; we are going to have to play dirty. And need I tell you that I do know the _whole_ story, and he deserves a lot worse than anything I can dole out." He stretched his arms across his chest before walking forward and placing his hand on her lower back, turning and leading her towards the chapel doors.

"I'm behind you no matter what you decide, but trust me, he could be _key_ in all of this. Make sure you check any old hiding places for notes and what not. I guarantee there'll be something."

* * *

 

She'd begun to despise Demitrius.

The man was insufferable and more ruthless than any person she knew. He grated on her nerves daily as she suffered his coddling, and she'd already smacked him more than once, to his amusement. He was hilarious, charming, and invariably helpful whenever their group needed of him.

But worst of all, there was always truth to his crude statements.

_"I don't know why you kept him around." She whispered to Bash one day during breakfast._

_"Well, he's smart, cunning, always in a good mood. And he's rather soft on the eyes, is he not?"_

_She groaned._

There never was a note from Aiden, so on that front he'd been mistaken. She had rubbed the small victory in his face the following days, but he'd only smiled _knowingly_ at her. He did everything _knowingly_ and it made her want to pull out his hair.

But not a week after the incident, there was a knock on her door. She had trouble sleeping ever since the cells; the bed too comfortable, but not, the room too dark, but not. Alarm ran through her-- no one with authority would bother to knock, so who was it?

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she moved towards the door in her nightgown, her bare feet soft against the stone in fear of making any sound. She pressed her ear to the door, but heard nothing. Weren't there guards lining the halls?

Slowly, biting her lip, she opened the door, it's hinges creaking.

And saw nothing.

She opened the door wider, a slight draft causing her to shiver. Her arms holding each other, she stepped slightly out of the door frame, her steps measured.

In one fast motion, there was a gauntleted hand on her elbow, and the door shut behind her expertly.

He wore his helmet but she knew it was him, even in the dim lighting. He'd started down the hallway, pushing her along with him, the side of her body bumping into his when his stride didn't match hers.

Before long he veered left, his free hand working to unlock a dormitory she knew had long since been unused.

_That's oddly... spacious, for a change._

He finally let go of her elbow as he closed the door behind him. She rubbed her elbow and he removed his helmet. When he turned to face her, she was calmer than she had expected.

"Evelyn." He breathed, a mixture of emotions playing over his face, leaving it unreadable.

"Where are all the Templars?" She asked quickly, the first throb of fear pulsing in her head. She couldn't go back to the cells, not this soon.

"There's a meeting going on." He said dismissively, taking a step towards her. She took a step back.

"You're risking a lot, bringing me here." Her eyes didn't leave his. "Why--"

She gave a little gasp when he closed the distance between them, his hands grasping her shoulders.

"Evelyn, whatever your doing, don't. Your name is all I hear among the mages, and I've seen you with that _Demitrius_ ," He nearly spat the name. "You are going to get yourself killed. I cannot stop that from happening if they get it into their heads. Evelyn, please. _Please_ , stop."

The concern that shone in his green eyes hit her like a boulder, and if he hadn't been holding her up she was sure she would have fallen.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbled, her eyes averted. He gave her a small shake, forcing her to look at him.

"I'm not an _idiot_. I know you, and I know you and your friends are plotting your lives away. Maker's breath, _we_ played the same trick for months, I know it isn't real." He sounded so sure, and yet...

"Is it?" He asked after a moment, his voice low, his green eyes glinting with what she could only describe as sadness.

She felt like the cruelest woman in Thedas. A small part of her felt that she shouldn't, that he deserved far worse. But the larger part of her, the entirety of her that had to stand here and look at those sad, questioning eyes, felt like a shrew. Maker, time had put enough of a distance between them that she hadn't thought she'd ever feel this pang again, this urge to reach out...

"Aiden..." She whispered his name, her hands coming up between them.

"Why do it in front of me? What is your angle Evelyn?" His face was closer now, his shoulders hunched as he lowered his head to her level, anything to try and pry the truth from her.

"Or is it real?" She could hear the strain that question put in his voice, the small hint of desperation.

"Aiden this isn't fair." She didn't think she'd ever spoken so smally to him. She didn't want to admit either or, as she could hear Demitrius' voice in the back of her head telling her to lie, to rile him, to do this for their cause. But her own instincts screamed against such cruelty, and questioned what this would even accomplish. Aiden had risen in rank, yes, but he wasn't even a Knight Captain. Even if she somehow managed to manipulate him, it would have little to no effect.

He grimaced, loosening his grip on her arms.

"It isn't, no. I'm sorry Ev." He hands came away from her, and she realized how tightly he'd been gripping her. She'd never seen him so downcast. Where was the carefree young man she'd fallen for, who always had a smile ready, who laughed at nothing? He was like a shell of his former self.

His body shifted, looking like he was ready to make for the door.

Before he could, Evelyn stepped forward and put her arms around his middle. His body stiffened instantly, but she only squeezed a little harder, her cheek against his breastplate. Before long, she heard him make a grunt-like sound, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"I haven't forgotten what you did for me, down in the cells." She whispered into the quiet, lifting her face to look up at him.

"Nor will I. Whatever happens, I will try to keep you as far removed from it as I can." She swore. Despite how softly she spoke, he could see the resolution in her eyes, that spark that always surprised those who didn't know her well.

He sighed, resting his forehead against hers.

"So you are plotting." He didn't sound too relieved.

She breathed in his closeness, the heat emanating from his body making her belly leap. She didn't want to admit that she'd been complicit in Demitrius' plan to provoke him, so she just kept her mouth shut. He didn't seem to need confirmation either way. After a moment, his head rose again, and he looked at her sternly.

"Evelyn, I cannot keep you safe if you don't--"

 _I will cut you down if I have to._ His words echoed in her mind, making her flinch before she cut him off.

"It's not your job to keep _me_ safe. And even if it once was, technically, the order has derailed Aiden. Surely you see that?" Her eyes searched his, searching for whether he had come closer to her side. Whether he saw the Templar abuses for the horrors they were, or as a necessary means to an end? Whether she ought to forgive him, either way?

Shame creased his brow as he looked towards the ground, but soon shook his head.

"We're doing the best we can, Ev."

_No._

"You aren't." She squeezed him lightly, urging him, begging him to see through her eyes.

_Please, Aiden. Please._

"We have kept order where so many others have failed. We've had no casualties on either side--"

"That's a technicality. You've just made us Tranquil instead." She put in, her anger flaring.

"Which is exactly what'll happen to you if you don't stop." In an instant he had his hands on either side of her cheeks, his fierce face close. Evelyn read the panic there, the strain of what he believed to be inevitable.

She stared at him for a moment, before setting her jaw.

"If I stop, I might as well be Tranquil." Her words hung in the air between them, a gauntlet thrown. She'd have her mind, she'd have her opinions, but she could drown in them for all the world cared, if she stopped.

He understood her conviction, for it mirrored his own. He removed his hands from her, his arms dropping to his sides in defeat. The only contact between them now were her hands at his waist.

She knew for certain that no matter what happened Aiden wouldn't abandon the order.

_And I have to be as strong, if not more so. I can not abandon our cause, no matter how enticing. I cannot love a man who oppresses me, who (whether he's forgotten it or not) vowed to kill me if need be._

"Please." He whispered, the pleading in his tone crushing her. She opened her mouth and closed it again, unable to trust herself as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. She remained quiet for a moment longer, before finally lowering her hands away from him.

"Take me back to my room." She demanded softly, tears brimming in her eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okiiieeee, so I did a bit of research, and according to the wiki, there were three years between the Kirkwall Rebellion and the birth of the Inquisition. I always assumed it'd been about a year, but this gives me so much more room to write and develop Evie and her friends (and a lot more Aiden time!) and to delve into her origin story a little more. I've mapped out about two more chapters before the events in Inquisition begin, FYI :)


	5. Year Two

The sun glinted in through the narrow windows of the classroom. It bathed the children, the two Templars, and Evelyn in a golden light as the afternoon waned. Her head and shoulders were hunched over a letter she was composing, but every few seconds her eyes would rise to ensure all the students were keeping to task. They worked quietly, the more precocious ones already staring out the windows at the sky, their eyes squinting. Evelyn gave a little sigh, returning to her letter.

Her even script belied the disdain she felt for the contents of the letter. No amount of reasoning with disbanded Circle mage leaders would rein them in. Her logic would not convince them to surrender and bend to the Templars. They would not see life returned to it's uneven balance. They were resolute.

Evelyn envied them.

But Lydia had to be appeased. Months had passed, and only recently had Evelyn been able to worm her way back into the viper's good graces. Lydia had eventually asked for her presence in the few meetings she deigned to hold with the mages in her charge. Evelyn had been rather shocked, but soon she realized Lydia was abiding by the age old adage of keeping her enemies close. She understood Evelyn's elevated image among the mages better than she led on, and aimed to ally herself with the young woman as much as possible.

This frustrated Evelyn to no end.

Not only was she watched like a hawk by some Templar or other every second of the day; she'd become a figurehead, a pawn to be used by opposing sides for their benefit. She figured the only reason Lydia hadn't sanctioned making her Tranquil was because she suspected it might incite the full on rebellion she was striving to avoid.

But why the Ostwick mages had chosen her as their leader, she couldn't fathom.

Sure, she'd stood up for them against the First Enchanter, but it had only been the one time, and even then, it'd been tame. She'd spent time in the cells, but by this point nearly a third of the mages had. The number of them being made Tranquil was still rising, and no progress seemed to have been made.

Yet still they gave her looks that stilled her heart a beat whenever she entered a room.

Even the children she taught were cautious with her, treating her with more respect than they would have otherwise.

She figured this had much to do with Demitrius. He was a walking advertising campaign. Any moment he could, he spoke of Evelyn. He whispered fictitious plans she had for getting them all out to safety, or of how she planned to rid them of the Templars, to anyone who'd listen. The bolder of the mages would approach her when they could with questions, and at first Evelyn had sputtered nonsensical responses before running away. Eventually she had taken to solemnly shaking her head, her silence being taken as a warning for discretion.

She was too much the coward to quash their hopes.

And it wasn't as though she weren't trying. Her and her team spent hours of their day contemplating how to go about fixing things. The issue was, their contemplating was done in silence, with only a few minutes of debriefing, ever. There could be no communal brainstorming, there wasn't the opportunity. Despite this, some strides had been made. One had particularly pleased Evelyn.

They'd started distributing Smiting potions.

Her experience of being smited before the rebellion had been slim, but her few experiences thereafter had proven more than a little traumatic. Many factors went into it, but that feeling of helplessness, of complete subordination, had wrecked havoc on her psyche. She would do anything to avoid that feeling again.

And her and Adrina had found the solution.

During their shifts in the infirmary, the girls had put their heads together to experiment on Evelyn's then-absurd idea. If one could craft potions (with lyrium) to enhance a mage's power, there had to be an equally effective weakening, or draining potion. A sort of depressant.

And they'd found it. After weeks spent pretending to concoct only healing potions for faraway Templar soldiers (Lydia's idea, and it had gone over wonderfully with the Knight-Commander) the girls had stumbled upon the recipe for what they called a Smiting potion.

It drained a mage of all their mana, ironically leaving them as defenseless as Evelyn never wanted to feel again.

But she had also been right on another score of her theory.

One could become accustomed to the draining. The initial trials would result in the vomiting, dehydration, exhaustion, and more, that Evelyn had felt. But eventually, one's knees wouldn't waver as the force of the smite hit them. Eventually, one's stomach wouldn't churn. The air might leave them, but they could regain their composure shortly.

One could even retain some of their mana, developing a sort of immunity.

Now, this was nothing to write home about. Mages were weak without their magic, never having been taught to fight with any other weapon. But this at least made it so they could remain _alert_. They wouldn't be caught unaware. If nothing more, they could run.

Evelyn felt she was taking control from the Templars, if only piece by piece.

Through Demitrius' network they'd orchestrated an "epidemic." One that had every mage succumbing to a flu that simply _had_ to be treated by the mages in the infirmary. They'd managed to inoculate and distribute more Smiting potions than they could have dreamed, and belatedly, the potions would induce the flu like symptoms the patients were feigning. Slowly, with more Smiting potions, they'd get better.

_Stronger._

Evelyn couldn't help but smile a little at the thought, her head still bent over the unfinished letter. She cleared her throat a little, clearing her desk. She could write nonsense later.

"Alright class, you should--"

A loud sound caused Evelyn's words to trail. Her head snapped to the Templars on guard instantly, her eyes distrustful. They too had fallen into an almost-crouch, their hands on the hilts of their swords. Their eyes all locked.

_Not us then. But what--_

Another sound, and this time Evelyn knew it for what it was.

_Screams._

She straightened her shoulders, her eyes sweeping the classroom. Dozens of eyes stared at her in fear. A small body of whispers began to rise.

"Alright, quiet down. Everyone behind my desk, sitting down with your partners." She instructed calmly, though her heart had begun to beat wildly inside of her chest. No matter what, she had to ensure that whatever was happening outside of the doors did not spill into this room. She crossed the room quickly, her voice low as she addressed the Templars.

"Are you both just going to stand there?" She asked, venom in her voice as she heard the screams grow louder, more voices joining in. They eyed her warily, fearing some sort of manipulation. She sighed.

"Someone might be hurt. One of you stay, but the other should go. We can't have violence." She tried to sound collected. Internally she responded to herself.

_Can't we?_

Maker Lydia had turned her into a monster.

_No, not just Lydia. The Templar order. The entire fucking world._

She wasn't violent by nature, she'd never been. She was a healer, for Maker's sake, she wasn't one to wish for bloodshed.

_But nothing's changing, nothing been done. You've done nothing. All you do is grovel at that bitch's fe--_

She steeled her jaw against her thoughts. Every inch of her was desperate to know what was happening behind those doors. It had moved into the corridor it seemed, for the shouts were louder now.

"Maker." She heard the remaining Templar groan, and despite herself Evelyn pressed her ear to the door. He didn't stop her, every bit as curious.

Before long the shouts were right outside her door. Her eyes grew wide, as she stepped away, but not quickly enough to avoid being hit by the doors as they were sprung open. She stumbled, but caught herself on one of the desks, her hands gripping tight.

In seconds the Templar beside her was gurgling, choking on his own blood, a dinner knife protruding from his neck.

Evelyn felt herself gag.

Demitrius walked up to her briskly, his hand turning her face towards him.

"Wha--" Evelyn began, panic apparent on every contour of her face. Dozens of fellow mages flooded into the room, their eyes eager, searching.

"Focus." He said sternly, and her brown eyes met his blue.

"What. The. Fuck." She managed after a second, time seeming to have regained it's equanimity for the moment. The mages were moving no less quickly, but her grasp on reality had returned.

Her eyes shifted to the fallen Templar. She wished they hadn't.

"The children--" she began to turn her body, panic coursing through her again, but Demitrius lowered his hands to her arms now, holding her in place.

"I said _focus_. The war has started Evelyn."

How could he be so calm?

"The war?" She asked dumbly. She barely noticed as the mages began moving out of the room again, prowling.

_Hunting._

She began to hyperventilate.

"We've no real weapons! We can't fight, they're all going to get us killed; we've no training--" She was becoming hysterical, fighting against Demitrius' grip. She could feel the veins in her neck running and bulging, the rush of adrenaline in her legs.

"They wouldn't listen to me. There are other factions here, other plans. Some follow you, some don't. We knew our glacial pace could cause this. And it's happened." He shook her still, his face calm but his eyes pained.

"They've only just started. They've managed to kill the Templars in this section of the tower, but only because they have the element of surprise. Soon they'll be put down. Evelyn, I have to find Fee, before she takes it into her head to fight as well. Evelyn-- Maker, woman, **look at me** \-- you have to get out of here. You _have_ to find help."

"Me? Out? What in the blighted fade are you talking about?" She nearly screamed, her eyes filling with tears. She could hear the children crying in the background, their confusion even worse than her own.

"Adrina's waiting for you by the South Stair. That hall's been cleared of Templars. Exit through the Chantry, the vestibule, and then you're in the garden. Climb the wall, and _run_. And don't come back until you can deliver us." Despite the possibility in his words, Evelyn could find no trace of hope in his face. Her friend looked utterly defeated, resigned even.

_But he hasn't given up, not really. And he's giving you a way out._

_A way to vindicate yourself. To prove yourself._

_And a burden so heavy that should I fail I could probably not live with it for the rest of my life._

"Come back." He said in goodbye, leaning down and kissing her cheek, before running from the room.

"Wait!" She called out, but he was gone. Was she expected to just abandon the rest of them? Leave her friends to fend off the Rite of Tranquility, or worse, while she searched Maker knows where for an answer.

_What about Fee... what about Bash?_

And Demitrius too, she realized. He would likely see the worst punishment of all, his conniving finally coming back to bite him.

_No._ A primal note rang through her, hardening her body against her self-pity. Harm wouldn't come to her friends. She would come back, she would save them. She had to.

She turned back to the children; some were convulsing their sobs were so heavy, others were stunned frozen. Neither would do.

"Listen up! You will barricade this door behind me, and you will seal it with the ice blasts we've been practicing all month. Should anyone, and I mean _anyone_ , come into this room, even after you think the storm has past, you will all cast the barriers Enchanter Rebecca taught you. All of you huddle together and put all of your mana into it. If you feel the intruder-- either mage _or_ Templar-- is friendly, then you can step out from the barrier. They will not harm you, I promise. You are innocent."

_Aren't we all?_

She swallowed hard, trying to keep her mask of control intact.

"Are we clear?" She barked, her face fierce.

"Yes." They all responded unanimously, a few of the bolder voices loud enough that they gave her hope.

"I will see you all soon. Do as I said." She began to make her way out of the room, eager to run but holding herself back.

"Enchanter Evelyn, where are you going?" One particular little boy asked her, his eyes probing. He didn't seem as afraid as he did distrusting.

Her hand on the edge of the door, she turned her head before she closed the doors behind her.

_Maker, I'm running away aren't I? I'm more of a coward than I gave myself credit for._

_No, I'm finding help. I'm running only to come back and save my friends, my kind. I'm coming back._

She steeled herself before laying hardened eyes on the child.

"I am going to fix it."

* * *

 

Evelyn couldn't breath, she could only feel the hard, aching jolts the rough stones sent up her legs. She pumped her arms, but she couldn't seem to go any faster, and she cursed her heavy robes when they tangled between her legs, and sweat made them cling to her.

She ran through crowds of seemingly deranged mages, some who would yell at her as she ran by, but she couldn't make them out. It was all a maniacal din. An orgy of angry, repressed curses, chants, and blasphemies.

_We've lost our wits. You can't fight without wits._ She thought as she continued running, her pants loud in her ears.

_They're all going to die._

When she reached the South Stair Evelyn felt a wave of relief flood over her at the sight of Adrina. The mage's long black hair was swept into a ponytail, a bag strapped to her back, her anxious hands fiddling in the pockets of... trousers?

_That's awfully resourceful, what with the spontaneity and all..._

Adrina didn't give her time to question, instead pulling Evelyn by the hand without a word. They practically flew down the stairs, Evelyn bunching up the fabric of her robes so that she wouldn't trip over herself. Before they could reach the bottom however, they came upon a Templar running up the stairs, and he barreled into Adrina. The mage fell back onto the stone steps, her cry shocking Evelyn into action. She stepped forward, shoving at the Templar with an added ice blast that sent him careening down the steps. Quickly, Evelyn helped Adrina up. The mage began casting herself, and before the Templar could rise, she'd frozen him solid in place. Evelyn marveled at her friend's skill, before rushing to keep pace with her as she took the steps two at time.

_When did she learn to do that?_

The chantry was eerily quiet, standing in stark contrast to the halls that sang with almost demonic screams. Evelyn's skin rose despite the sweat, a chill rolling down her spine as they ran through the length of the vestibule.

Upon entering the garden, Adrina made straight for the fencing, and Evelyn groaned at the difficulty she was going to have climbing in her robes.

She ran forward despite this, and looked askance of her friend with a pained expression, her breathing hard. Adrina's focused gaze pointed to the bag she had left on the ground before she started climbing the fence.

Evelyn caught on quickly, moving towards the bag and finding a pair of trousers and a blouse. She unclasped the buttons of her robes with shaking hands, but she managed, and quickly changed into the more practical ensemble.

_Especially resourceful._

She chucked the bag over the fence, where Adrina had already jumped down. Evelyn began to climb, only to hear a commotion coming from the vestibule.

_I've been too slow._

Panic made it so that she climbed as though she were a spider, giving little care to where she placed her feet. She nearly lost her balance, but she made it to the top just as an enraged Templar appeared in the garden. Despite the helmet she could _sense_ the hatred radiating from him as he charged the fence, barreling all of his strength into the iron bars.

They shook so forcefully, they threw her off.

Luckily, she landed on the outside of the enclosure. Adrina half caught her, but her bottom had hit the ground _hard_. She felt intense pain shoot up her spine and instinctively she began healing herself as she doubled over in pain. She heard the Templar roar in anger-- but he was frozen in time as Adrina buried him in ice.

Gasping for breath, Evelyn rose slowly, the pain in her lower spine causing her to cringe. Adrina was at her side in an instant, forcing her to down a healing potion.

"We've got to keep moving." Adrina insisted, her eyes worried. Evelyn merely nodded and allowed herself to be led as she continued to heal herself. Soon she'd be able to run, she knew.

She heard more shouts as they neared the wooded area they'd escape to in more lenient years. Looking back, she could see mages pouring out of the Circle Entrance. She narrowed her eyes, and she could see them falling, being cut down by the handful of Templar guards on duty there.

_They don't seem surprised. They've been alerted then._

Demitrius was right. All the mages had was surprise, and now their slaughter was beginning.

She heard a sob come from herself, and Adrina pulled on her arm.

"Let's GO." She said through gritted teeth, refusing to look at the horror.

"But Fee... Bash and Demitrius, we can't leave them." Tears were running down her face as she continued to see mage after mage cut down, the door serving almost as bottleneck. She fought against Adrina's insisting arms, pushing away from her friend.

"We can't leave them!" She shouted again, this time hysterically. Adrina's hand clamped down on her mouth.

"We _have_ to; it's the only way to save them! Now shut up and **move** Evelyn!" She could hear Adrina's patience wearing thin, and Evelyn tried to kick herself out of her panic. Despite her misgivings, she followed Adrina into the woods, her eyes bleary as her mind replayed the butchery she had just seen.

A few minutes later, she could run.

An hour later, they weren't in Ostwick anymore.

_Whoever preserve me. I'm an apostate now._

* * *

 

Night had arrived and stretched thin. Before long, dawn had crept upon the pair.

Despite some necessary interaction, Adrina had kept putting off Evelyn's questions as to what they were doing, where they were going, why they had done this. Surely they could have all gone; or not. They could have weathered the storm, waited it out. Started anew, regained their strength...

Adrina would answer nothing, and Evelyn found herself going mad. This wasn't happening. She was dreaming all of this up; none of it was real.

But when they finally exited the woods, and she saw coast a mere mile away, she knew this was real.

She could _smell_ reality from here.

She hadn't actually ever seen one, but Evelyn assumed this wasn't the sort of dock she'd read about in books. As a matter of fact, she wasn't sure this was a dock at all. The stench of fish and unwashed bodies threatened to choke her as the girls neared, winding around a smattering of tents. There were burly men appearing from them, men who she assumed were sailors. They looked groggy and unkempt, and they were in various states of undress. Evelyn even accidentally looked when she shouldn't have and caught one man relieving himself beside a tent.

_I thought sailors were supposed to be dashing and charming..._

She heard a belch.

_Lovely. The couldn't even have had breakfast yet._

Adrina stopped shortly and Evelyn ran into her from behind. She almost apologized, but then remembered she disliked Adrina at the moment.

"I'm going inside to speak with the Captain of the ship. Do not move. If someone bothers you, feel free to use magic-- these sorts won't turn us in." Adrina's eyes darted about, her gaze distrusting.

Evelyn swallowed.

_So a sea voyage. With this sort of company._

Adrina disappeared into the tent, and Evelyn began shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously. She caught several men staring at her, a few even leering. Self-consciously, she tied the laces of her blouse a little tighter, and crossed her arms over her chest. She breathed a sigh of relief when Adrina came out a moment later.

"Alright, we're settled. There's one thing we have to do before we sail with them." Adrina eyed her, trying to decipher how Evelyn was going to react.

"Who's _them_? I don't like the way they're looking at me, I don't want to sail with them." Never mind that she'd never done more than wade out to sea when she was a child. She felt her chest tighten in anxiety over being on a ship.

Adrina gave a short sigh of frustration.

"Would you stop being a fucking brat, and just-- ugh." Adrina threw her hands up, and Evelyn felt her anger rise.

"I would, if you would be so kind as to tell me WHERE the fuck we're going, and WHO these people are?!" Evelyn was shouting now, and she could feel more eyes on her than she wished.

"So that's what we're to expect for the next couple o' weeks?" She heard a gravely voice mumble.

"Bad luck to have a put out woman on board." She heard another say.

_Superstitious... smelly... leery..._

"Are these fucking pirates Adrina?" Evelyn asked, her eyes wide, her voice low.

Adrina opened her mouth and then closed it, before groaning.

"Yes. It's the best we could manage, Your Highness."

The tartness of her reply didn't bother Evelyn at that moment. All she could feel was a warm fear moving over her.

And a heightening excitement making her skin tingle.

"Oh." She replied, forgetting to close her mouth. She looked around at the various small groups of _pirates_ milling about, and saw that they eyed her too.

Adrina seemed a little sorry, and she took Evelyn's hand, giving it a squeeze. "I promise I will explain everything once on we're on board. But first we have to secure our passage."

"I thought you said you already did that." Evelyn said dumbly.

"Yes, but... we need to do _one_ thing to prove we're trustworthy."

Evelyn's eyes went wide.

"I am NOT raiding or pirateering or whatever it is these people do!" She whispered vehemently.

_Wouldn't that be something..._

Adrina gave a short laugh at that, shaking her head.

"We have to get a marking." She said, and Evelyn's brows drew together in confusion.

"Like, a pen marking? I don't understand."

"To prove we won't give them up. Authorities know to look for these markings. But we can get them in a hidden place." At that a few of the nearby men sniggered, and Evelyn now caught the markings a few of them had on display, up their arms, at the corner of their eyes...

"I'm pretty sure those are called tattoos, Adrina." Evelyn started, her mouth setting in a firm line. "And they're permanent."

Adrina shrugged her shoulders, trying not to smile.

"It'll make a neat story?" She ventured, and Evelyn glared at her.

"Tell me why we're doing this, and then maybe I'll consider it." Evelyn insisted, thinking she'd found a way.

Adrina groaned, her shoulders slumping.

"You're incorrigible." She shook her head.

"We're going to see my grandmother. In Brandel's Reach."

* * *

 

Evelyn fingered the rise of ink at the back of her ear as the shoreline grew along the horizon.

Three weeks of manual labor aboard the ship, one brand, and a variety of crude jokes, and they'd bought safe passage to paradise.

If one considered a raiding outpost paradise.

She had to admit, the island was pretty, from where she was. The sea was clear, the dock (a real one this time) bustling with life. Too much life, she was sure some would say, as the ship got even closer and she saw one couple _coupling_ in the sand.

She turned away, going below decks to gather their bag. They'd be docking soon, and they wouldn't leave for another couple of months, according to Adrina's calculations.

_Well. Adrina and Demitrius' calculations._ Evelyn thought bitterly.

She'd come to the realization on her own that their escape had been planned. She hadn't yet mustered the courage to ask Adrina if the outbreak had also been incited, or if those two deviants had just planned for the worst. She feared she knew the answer, but didn't want to accept it.

_Soon._ She'd ask soon.

But now they were at Brandel's Reach. Come to see Adrina's grandmother, from whom she inherited her magic. Surely the wily pirate lady (who avoided capture on multiple fronts) would be able to offer some advice, some solution.

And this was the sort of slipshod planning both Adrina and Demitrius knew would have met with Evelyn's scorn.

Which is why they had kept it from her.

Grabbing her bag, Evelyn's heart danced a bit as she realized she could soon find some way to have a proper bath. On land, anything was possible. She'd been in the same clothes for weeks, and she didn't get on well with her own filth.

When she went above deck once more, she saw they were mooring at the dock. She caught sight of Adrina, and walked over to her.

"Well, now that it's at it's end, how do you feel about our pirate adventure?" She asked cheerily, trying to soothe both of their nerves.

Adrina looked at her from the corner of her eyes, a small smile growing on her full lips.

"I think you enjoyed it more than I did."

"Me? No. I'd rather be lounging on a settee, eating iced cakes." Evelyn grinned despite herself. It was true, she had loved being out on the sea, the feeling of pure _freedom_ making her heart surge. For a Circle mage whose worldly experience ended at age six, this had been a wondrous adventure. No matter what came now, she knew she'd always have her memories of this time.

_And a marking to remember it by_. She reached up and touched the back of her ear again.

Adrina shook her head, before leading her friend towards the ramp.

"Say goodbye to the ole _Salty Swallow_."

Evelyn laughed, throwing a pretend wave to the ship that had made them free.

* * *

 

"You lie." The older woman's sharp eyes narrowed even as they softened, if that was possible. She'd lowered her staff, and the two girls could breath a little easier now.

"No, I-I am. We've escaped. But we need to go back; we have to help. But we've no training in anything but healing so..." Adrina's voice trailed, and Evelyn squeezed her friend's hand.

Adrina's grandmother-- Ruby, Evelyn had learned-- _was_ exactly who they needed, Evelyn had come to realize. A mage who moved in dangerous circles, surviving for decades unscathed. The woman had to have combat experience. She would know secrets unknown to Circle mages, and she could give them tips on how to blend in. Maker, if she was eager enough, she could even help them gather help to fight back at home.

_I shouldn't think of it as home._ She chastised herself as Adrina continued trying to prove her identity. _But I do._

"Well, if you are who you say you are, come in. I warn you though, one misstep and I will skin you alive, granddaughter or no." Evelyn shuddered slightly as the two of them walked in.

_They are definitely related._

Ruby ushered them to her small kitchen table, and the two girls sat down. When Ruby joined them, she brushed her hair behind her hear.

Her _Elven_ ear.

Evelyn shot Adrina a questioning look, and Ruby caught it and laughed.

"Aye, I'm big for an elf, aren't I? Adrina didn't tell you?" Something harder glinted in Ruby's eyes, though her smirk stayed in place.

Evelyn shook her head 'no,' feeling as though she'd made quite the social blunder.

Adrina sighed. "Grandma married a human. He was a smuggler, that's how she got in the trade. My mother married a well-to-do Ferelden."

"Who never once allowed me to see my grandchild, mind you. The ass." Ruby put in, her scorn for the man evident.

Adrina shrugged. "You know him better than I do."

"Aye child, I do." A softness shown on the woman's expression that made her look years younger. Evelyn could see the traces of Adrina now clearly, in the nose and mouth.

"And I have pity for your cause. I will help you under one condition."

Adrina raised an eyebrow, her apprehension apparent. This wasn't the warm family reunion Evelyn had been expecting.

"No blood magic. And you give your training a hundred percent of your all. I suppose that's two conditions, but I don't train pussies. You will sweat, you will bleed, and you will cry out for mercy. That goes for you too, sweetling." Ruby's sharp eyes turned to Evelyn, unnerving her.

"I am going to make women out of the two of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was so much fun to write! Hope you're all enjoying it. Next ch involves the final year before Inquisition events, so we're almost there ^_^


	6. Year Three

His breathing was harsh and ragged as he pumped his arms, willing himself to go faster. He didn't know the forest well, and if he had had the time to think he would have thought that this served him right, having wandered off this far with no foresight. Thin though it was, the forest boasted wolves and worse.

So he guessed he was lucky to only have found the former.

But the ferocity of the sole wolf chasing him bewildered him. It must be hungry indeed to have set upon him as it had. But the way it had looked at him when he'd found it dallying in a pond had knocked the wind out of him before he'd even begun to flee.

The beast had looked around nervously, agitated, before finally looking _excited. Fiendishly_ excited to see him. How he'd deciphered all that from the wolfish expression he wasn't sure, but it had all been there, that much he knew.

He ran harder, the beginning of hysteria threatening to break his stride. The wolf wasn't letting up-- he could hear it behind him, its gallop faster, more precise than his fumbling pace.

Before he could curse himself again for putting himself in this position, he felt two heavy paws strike him down, all of the wolf's weight projected into him to force his fall. His ribs met the hard soil, and he let out a guttural yell of fear, of pure terror. He took in a deep breath, readying himself to feel teeth sink into him...

But nothing came. His breathing refused to settle, and his nervousness quickly overrode his fear. He looked up, only to see a pair of yellow eyes a few centimeters from his face. The wolf's snout nearly touched his nose, and as his eyes grew wide with terror, so did the wolf's with surprise. He scrambled away from it, and was amazed that it didn't lunge for him. It merely cocked its head and looked at him, it's eyes glinting with--

His retreat ended with a thump against a solid, hairy flank. He felt his body go very still, dread weighing him down like wet cement. Slowly, a second grey wolf walked out from around him, nearly identical to the first. It did a half circle until it sat beside the other wolf. They both regarded him for a long moment, and finally he could feel his shock whittling into panic again. _Maker_ , there was no way he could fend off two of them. And they were looking at him so strangely, so... _earnestly_ , if one could say that. He wondered whether they were trying to figure out which part of him to gnash on first.

He could hear only the sound of his hammering heart, the tension taut. He had almost decided to make a run for it when the wolf who'd been only a mere inches from his face earlier cocked it's head easily towards the nearest exit of the forest. It's expression was no longer as keen but... satisfied? His eyes darted to the other one, which seemed to be smirking.

_What kind of fucking wolves were these?_

He decided against questioning his luck; he scrambled up and sprinted out of the forest.

The two wolves looked at each other, shy, almost-smiles on their canine faces. The yellow eyed wolf began to change first, prompting the one who had given chase to morph as well. Hair thinned as ivory and tan skin were exposed and stretched to human proportions. Thighs rounded or thinned, muscles became less taut, and feminine curves returned as the two young women became themselves again.

Adrina had her form back first, and she shook out her black hair, ridding it of the twigs she'd entangled. Evelyn finished soon after, and she stretched into her bones, the lyrium sizzling in her blood. Her body felt aflame with the magic and she marveled for the thousandth time at their newfound ability.

Glancing over at Adrina with a nervous smile, the girls began to laugh guiltily.

"Poor man thought we were going to eat him." Evelyn finally said, feeling a bit terrible for having chased the sailor. A part of her had wanted to practice chasing a target, but she knew the glee she felt during couldn't be justified objectively.

"Well, it tells us we're convincing enough. Honestly, we should do this more often." Adrina replied with another guilty laugh, and Evelyn felt better knowing was someone equally as devious as her to make her feel better.

"Won't Ruby be pissed? We were told to stay away from people for now." Evelyn bit her lip, moving towards the nearby clearing where they'd stashed their clothing.

"I won't tell her if you don't." Adrina gave Evelyn a pointed look, before reaching down for her trousers, and the girls dressed quickly before hurrying out of the forest.

* * *

 

"Cunts, the both of you. When one of you gets shanked don't come crying to me." Ruby's angry reprimand greeted the girls at the door of her cabin, but they couldn't find her in the crowded entrance of her home. They hadn't even stepped in fully before one of Ruby's cronies pushed past them, decorations piled high atop a few chairs in his hands.

They moved in slowly, the bustle of people moving throughout the home surprising them. A few were assembling tables, while others worked around the kitchen, cutting up vegetables and flattening pie crusts.

"Oh, a party!" Evelyn clapped her hands together in delight, Ruby's scolding momentarily forgotten. Books had always taunted her with balls and dancing and general _liveliness_ , and she had taken to Ruby's gatherings with all the enthusiasm of her inexperience. She loved the dancing, the gorging on delicious food, the company. And Ruby had one at least every other week. They were a wonderful break from all the training and general heaviness of her conscience.

Before she could ask one of the cooks how she could help, Ruby appeared, slight and harsh in a dazzling robe, rolled tongs in her hair that she kept hot with her magic. Evelyn smiled at the grumpy woman, and Adrina winced, not having forgotten that somehow they'd been caught.

"Quit smiling you chit. What did I say? No _interacting_ with _anyone_. Now we have a deranged sailor blubbering about a pair of strange wolves-- you two couldn't be any more fucking obvious. You'll have to train elsewhere now, cause I'm fairly certain he's already taken it into his head to run in there again with a couple of imbeciles." Ruby berated them as she turned to taste a few of the dishes. She gave the cooks a thumbs up before rounding on the two of them again.

"I didn't teach you ancient elven magic so that'd you'd terrorize dimwits." She whispered bluntly, her eyes narrowing on the two of them, but especially on Adrina.

"We're sorry." Evelyn put in meekly, feeling her guilt return tenfold.

"We just... _I_ just wanted to see what would happen... Adrina's positively terrifying, she did that thing with her eyes that you do--" Ruby's death stare cut Evelyn off right on cue, and she shifted uncomfortably in her skin.

"Yep, that one." She looked away, a nervous laugh leaving her.

"Tomorrow." Ruby spoke low after a moment, the anger in her voice marking her word for the warning that it was.

Tomorrow, Evelyn would have her ass handed to her.

She nodded quickly, taking future punishment with more relief than she ought to.

"Today, you'll help prep for the party. Evelyn: kitchen; Adrina: help Cooper with set up."

Adrina, who'd been quiet up until this point, found her tongue.

"And who is this party for?" Evelyn cringed at the slight haughtiness in Adrina's voice. That girl had no understanding of how _wrong_ that approach was with her grandmother.

Ruby rounded back to face the two of them, having made towards the stairs. She raised an eyebrow, just as Evelyn had seen Adrina do all her life, before replying.

"Declan's returning from Antiva. I'm sure Evelyn's ecstatic."

Evelyn felt her stomach flop as she physically dropped the bowl she'd picked up to start collecting potato peels in.

 _Not him again_. She thought, but aloud she only laughed nervously.

"Oh, and Adrina-- handle the outhouses instead."

* * *

 

_His roughened hands fumbled with the clasping on her robes, his mouth pressed hard on hers. He pushed her back until she could feel the cold stones through her clothes, his thigh grinding against her sex._

_"Aiden," She whispered his name as he peppered kisses down to her collarbone, pushing her robe away from her shoulder and covering the exposed skin with his practiced hand._

_She heard him grunt in response, and she knew he had gotten to that point where he was barely coherent, and it'd be hard to ask him to stop._

_"We've been in here too long, the other mages will come for their shifts soon." She kept her voice low, afraid of being overhead. The infirmary storage room was an excellent place for a rendezvous, but not very soundproof._

_She felt him bite down into her shoulder. She gave a little cry, shrugging the shoulder away from him._

_"Five more minutes." He replied dumbly, his mouth chasing her shoulder and pressing a kiss to it. His hands found her hips, and aligned them with his own. She could feel the slight distortion in his armor, the slight bulge, that told her that he desired her. Instinctively, she swiveled her hips over it._

_His breath caught before he gave a little chuckle._

_"You minx." She smiled despite herself, and bit down on her lip. As much as she would have loved to spend the entirety of their day like this, they had to part, if they were to meet again._

_"Come, we can see each other again tonight, after dinner." She began pushing away from him, but he closed the distance quickly, holding her possessively._

_"Wait. I want to feel how wet you are."_

_Evelyn felt her cheeks redden at his candor, but she felt a tightness in her belly, a shot of anticipation go straight to her sex at his words. She nearly held her breathe as his hand snaked into her robes, which were open to her belly button. She felt his hand press against her smallclothes, and could feel dampness for herself now too against his touches._

_"Evelyn..." His voice was gruff, tight and tense with unrelieved desire. Slowly, he pushed down into her smalls, his hand cupping her sex. She gave a little moan, her forehead grazing his breastplate._

_"Aiden." She wasn't sure if she was warning him or if she was urging him on, but right then she couldn't think straight._

_"You're dripping." His tongue was so thickened with lust that she barely heard him. Glancing up at him, she felt a wave of excitement-- or was that emotion?-- sweep over her. Maker, she wanted him too. Her Aiden, her Templar, left her breathless, and these months of cat and mouse were driving her equally mad._

_She nodded, her eyes meeting his._

_He lowered his face to hers, and she expected a kiss, but instead he spoke._

_"Do you want me inside of you?" He asked softly, his middle finger running the length of her sex and resting at her bud. Evelyn felt her legs turn to jelly at his touch, and his words left her speechless. He always surprised her with his talk, made her feel as inexperienced as she was. But she loved it when he spoke like this, she lived for it._

_She whimpered as she nodded, unable to meet his eyes now. He lowered his mouth to her ear, and his breathing caused her skin to rise, just as his finger entered her..._

The tight sensation caused her eyes to open wide. She felt the solidness of the wooden table on her bottom, and her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting to see the solid figure before her, hunched over her hungrily, his hand in her unbuttoned trousers, exploring, taking.

She felt him thrust into her again, this time with two fingers, and she gave a small whimper.

"Declan." She breathed his name, her hands coming up to push on his shoulders. They were thick and her pushes did little, so she dropped her hands to his insistent arm, dislodging him from her trousers. With the sensations gone, she felt that she could think clearer.

"Evelyn." The low, Ferelden accent curled over her name, and she could hear the disappointment in his voice. He already knew what came next.

"I can't." She whispered, feeling sorry for the man before her. She took stock of the two of them and their surroundings, coming back entirely from her reverie. His hips had found their way between her thighs, and his body was closer than she felt comfortable with. She felt encased by him, felt as though she was _his._

She felt too vulnerable.

She had come into the dim kitchen to restock the platters with roast meats and fruits for his welcome home feast. Ruby's parties were something of a fixture for the debauched society of Brandel's Reach, and the girls were constantly running about to ensure the event ran smoothly, at Ruby's orders. Tonight was especially hectic, for the honored guest had many friends, and even more people who wished to be his friend.

Evelyn had come to guess that Ruby was a lot older than she had initially assumed, what with how many different "Captains" the woman had trained and mentored into adulthood. These men and women seemed to sparkle with virility. They oozed power. They ate, laughed, drank, danced with a vibrancy that neither of the girls had ever witnessed. Adrina and Evelyn were amazed by them.

And as per her luck, Evelyn had inconveniently caught the eye of one of them.

_Well we're fully dressed, so at least it hasn't gone as far as last time..._

But she knew that wouldn't be much consolation to him. She could feel his cock jutting into her thigh, and she knew he would accuse her of teasing him (again.) And he'd be right.

"You can. It's not very difficult." He replied teasingly, the lust in his eyes not gone entirely. His hand at her lower back pulled her closer and she squirmed.

"No, I really can't. I-I'm too drunk." She grasped at what she could, and it wasn't untrue. He had been plying her with ale the whole night through.

She heard him growl.

"This would be considerably easier if you _were_ drunk, dear." He sighed, his hand going lower and gripping her bottom. His free hand cupped her cheek, forcing her to look up at him. She looked into his handsome face cautiously, trying to steel herself against the oncoming _begging_ she knew he was capable of, no matter how much he'd claim it was _persuasion_.

Her eyes flickered over the scars at his neck and chin, scars that in less sentient moments she knew she'd kissed. Her eyes rose to his, and she saw the crow's feet there, reminding her that he had said he was thirty-two, and she had found that rather old indeed. He'd laughed at her then, at her childishness, but he hadn't left her alone.

Maker, he hadn't let her be for months.

Evelyn had been introduced to the sandy haired pirate by Ruby upon his return from another voyage. Ruby had spoken of him fondly, and explained how she had looked after him ever since he was a boy. He was one of her Captains, and she took great pride in his abilities.

But she had warned the girls that he would probably set his eyes on one of them, if not both.

Evelyn didn't like his presumptuousness, how he just _took_ even when she protested. She didn't like how he spoke to her, his blunt humor grating. But mostly, she didn't like the drop she'd feel in her belly when he'd enter a room, or when she caught sight of him on the docks.

She wasn't ready to have these feeling again, she realized the first time he'd kissed her. She didn't feel up to it again just yet, and she didn't have the energy or time to devote to a relationship.

 _Even though he's been pretty clear that_ that's _not what he wants._

Mostly, however, she just couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong. She always thought of Aiden when she found herself with Declan. And even though he was honest enough to admit he only wanted to bed her, the thought of that wasn't very comforting to a woman who'd felt wrongly used by her last lover.

When she'd brought this up to Ruby, the elf had only scoffed and said that a decent romp in the hay was _exactly_ what Evelyn needed to move on.

"I need to attend to the guests." She replied weakly, lifting a knee to try and close her legs and remove him from in between them.

" _I_ need your attention. It's been a month you know." He replied playfully, his hands coming down to spread her legs even further. He moved his groin into hers again, and he smirked when she gave a little gasp at the renewed contact.

"Declan, I shouldn't have to explain myself. I just don't want to. And I'm sure it _hasn't_ been a month for you." She replied irritably. His smirks always made her want to bite his lips off; they were always at her expense.

He shrugged at the accusation, before sighing. Evelyn found her eyes drifting to his jaw, to the stubble there.

"You've been _wanting to_ for weeks, Evelyn; and I've been _wanting to_ for longer. Maker's balls, just let me have you." She could hear the frustration in his voice, the hint of desperation.

And he wasn't entirely wrong. Declan did inspire _something_ in her-- she was curious, and when he touched her and she managed to remain in the moment she felt blissfully sensual. Wanton, even, and although she could shyly deny it later, she wanted to give in. But she could just feel that if they did lay together, she would come to regret it. Already she felt indignant at the way he spoke to her-- how intolerable would he become if she caved? And odds were, with her luck, that he'd disappear the next day, off on some far-flung expedition he'd been putting off right until he'd had her.

She wasn't ready to deal with another man's cooling interest.

That hadn't been precisely the case with Aiden, she knew, but it was hard to not let irrationality come into play with these things. She didn't want to give up what control she had over her emotions, after more than two years of sewing herself back up.

But worse, if his interest didn't cool, and she found herself falling for him-- she'd have to leave him sooner rather than later. She _had_ to return to the tower, if only to save what remained of her friends. Nor was she keen on developing feelings for a pirate.

He sighed at her silence, and let his hands come to lay on her waist.

"You've been nothing but a tease Evelyn. Tell me why." He demanded, softer than she knew him capable of.

She had taken to looking at the ground away from them, but now she peeped up at him from her lashes.

"I just ca--"

"Are you a virgin?" He asked quickly, rolling his eyes at her redundant reply.

Her eyebrows came together in confusion. What gave him that idea?

"No."

"Is there someone waiting for you back in the Free Marches?"

She hesitated a little.

"No." She didn't think so. Aiden didn't seem like the pining type, and nothing had happened between them since before the Rebellion. So why did she still feel connected to him somehow?

He arched an eyebrow.

"If I kill him will you lay with me?"

At that Evelyn couldn't help but laugh, and before thinking she raised her palms to his chest lightly. He looked down her hands, a small, victorious grin starting on his mouth.

 _Damn him._ She thought, before removing her hands again, warning dancing in her eyes.

"You could have any woman on this island. Let me be." She was quick enough that she able to scoot her bum off of the table, but he caught her arm before she could move too far.

"I've already had the other women on the island." His arms came around her possessively, and she felt a searing indignation that it took all of her to not light him on fire.

"Oh, fuck off." She spoke heatedly, shoving him off her, a force spell putting strength into her arms.

He stumbled back, startled at her use of magic. She'd never resorted to it before, but he'd been more patient then. She eyed him nervously as she realized she'd angered him, his brow low and his nostrils flared, and she turned to run out of the room but a big hand slammed the wooden door closed before she managed. Nervously, she looked up at his arm, thick with blond hairs that receded where white scars had sliced the skin. She turned slowly, so that she faced him, and she realized what she'd incited wasn't anger, so much as _lust._

She felt her breathe catch at his look, his eyes glazed and his lips slightly parted, and an overwhelming sense of _power_ swam over her. She felt tipsy off his desire for her, sensuous and warm. Her skin rose as his free hand grazed her bare forearm, tracing different figures.

"I want to fuck you until you scream for me Evelyn." He spoke lowly, coming near enough so that the coarse material of his shirt brushed against her body.

"I want to feel you writhing underneath me, your body shivering as you come for me. I want to hear you moan my name..."

"Declan." She conceded before she could stop herself, her will slipping. Normally his words would have embarrassed her, but she had seemingly lost the ability to hide the pleasure they gave her.

"Yes, like that." He growled low, and his hands came down to her waist , holding her in place as he lowered his face to her neck and kissed her there. Despite her better judgment, Evelyn found her hands looping around his shoulders, bringing him closer. One hand snaked up into his hair, pulling when he bit her.

She loved the intimacy of having him so close, of being so in contact with another person. She'd missed being touched, missed being desired, missed _romance_ , whether she admitted it to herself or not.

Before she'd even noticed, he'd unlaced the ties of her shirt. Only when he pulled at the sleeves and the fabric pooled at her waist did she realize, and by then he'd already trailed his kisses to her breasts, pushing her up against the door. The sensation was overwhelming, and she struggled to not cry out. The din of the party was growing, and she hoped that didn't mean too many were moving inside.

He bit one of her nipples and she hissed in pain, but she arched her back to him. Her own lips dropped to his ear, and she bit into the lobe before licking the rim. She felt him shudder slightly, his eyes rising to hers, and she knew the surprise he wore was due to the fact that she had rarely allowed herself to touch him the last few months, how he did her. It was usually him kissing, him groping, and she reacting, either positively or negatively. She rarely reached out, but she knew that when she did he was glad for it, a happiness dancing in his eyes that always made her stomach flip with pride.

He rose his mouth to her lips, his hands gripping her bottom now, and the coarseness of his shirt crashing against her breasts. She gave into his kisses greedily, and decided then and there that she would commit fully to the night. She wasn't going to change her mind, as she always had, mid-way through; she was going to give in, and blast the consequences. They could be dealt with in the future, but tonight she was going to finally lay with a handsome man after all this time, after all this _bullshit._

If nothing else, she wanted to at least be able to say she'd laid with a man more than once before she died.

Her hands moved to the buttons of his trousers and she began undoing them. Declan ground his hips closer to her, eager for her touch. When she managed to get under his smalls, her touch ushered a groan from him, and she marveled at the sound. Her hand closed around him before she began to move along the length of him, and when she did he cursed in a language unknown to her before uttering something more intelligible.

"Don't change your mind, Ev, I won't be able to bear it if you do."

She shook her head "no," before rising on her tip toes to kiss his mouth. She continued the motion, working him slowly but firmly, until she could feel him groaning into her mouth. The sounds he made exhilarated her, urged her on. She removed her hand and focused on pushing down his trousers, coming down unto her knees before him.

Her hands gripped his ass as she took him in her mouth, eager to hear him moan again. He was larger than Aiden had been, but it took her only a moment to adjust. She flicked her tongue over his head, before running the tip of it along the underside of his cock and taking him fully in her mouth again. His hands bunched in her hair, and she felt his body go taut under her kisses.

After another minute his hands pushed at her shoulders, gently lowering her to the ground. He quickly followed, lowering himself unto his knees as he tore his shirt off overhead. Evelyn's eyes rested on the expanse of tanned flesh, gliding over tattoos and the scars they covered up if one looked closely. He pulled her already unbuttoned trousers down the length of her legs, helping them off of her, and as he approached her again she leaned forward to kiss him-- only to feel the press of his big hand on her belly, pushing her back down. He nudged her legs open with his free hand, and lowered his lips to her sex.

He kissed her lavishly, leaving no part of her untouched, until she quivered at the swipes of his tongue. Aiden has kissed her thus only a few times, but never with as much attention and time. Evelyn could feel a heat threatening to burst in her belly, an expanding lust that made her legs shake. The softness of his tongue contrasted the rough graze of his stubble on her thighs, but she rode the high deliciously, savoring every feeling uninhibitedly. Before long she felt the crash of her orgasm, and her body shook as it rippled through her, his name falling from her open mouth.

He responded to her call by burying himself inside of her with one decided thrust, her wetness easing his way. She felt a familiar tightness, but this was leagues better than her first time, and the pulsing from her high hadn't abated. Instead, the overly sensitive apex of her sex grazed against his skin when he sank into her deeply, sending renewed pleasure through her. Her hands explored his body, trailing over his shoulders, his back, and sides, and she let out little moans into his ear as he moved against her.

When his mouth met hers, she felt her chest swell with tenderness, despite herself. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his pace quickened, relishing the _full_ feeling he gave her when he filled her deeply. She could feel his body tensing, a slight sweat forming between their bodies at the close contact. His breathing became more labored, and she angled her hips higher to meet his, sensing his end. He growled in response to her whispers, which urged him on with praise. Soon, she heard him break, a moan escaping him as he pulled out of her, his hand at the base of his cock in a flash. Instinctively Evelyn reached forward, replacing her hand with his as she stroked him to his finish, white spurts of cum landing on the incline of her belly. She thanked the Maker he'd had the foresight to pull out, feeling foolish for not having considered it before. She had long forgotten the recipe for the potion she'd used with Aiden, and the longer one waited, the less effective it was.

His forehead rested on hers as he caught his breath, and Evelyn took the time to enjoy the feel of his hard legs against hers, of the graze of his arms at her sides. She felt positively alive with satisfaction, but also rather deliciously lazy. She couldn't help but smile, and she put the negative thoughts that threatened her mood away for contemplation later.

When he finally sat back on his haunches he laughed as she tried to move her hips, her face a grimace.

"You're too heavy." She whined, her hands massaging her weary hips. She hadn't noticed how much pressure she'd been under, and the hard floor couldn't have helped matters.

He walked over to the water basin, grabbing a stray rag before making his way over to her. As he leaned down to clean the mess from her belly, he grinned mischievously at her.

"Next time you'll just have to get on top then."

* * *

 

Evelyn nearly collided with the narrow trunk of a tree at an unexpected shove at her back. She recognized the grunt of frustration before she turned around, but it didn't bewilder her any less when she turned to find a seething Adrina glaring at her.

_Fuck's her problem?_

"I don't care why you're moping, but you need to **stop.** " Adrina's words held all the firmness of the world's most harangued mother, and Evelyn would have laughed if she had been in that sort of mood.

"What the devil are you on about?" She replied irritably, inching away from her friend. Training hadn't gone well that morning. She'd been off, and the daggers Ruby forced the girls to practice with had become embedded into her flesh one too many times. She'd healed herself well enough, but a few cuts were still currently mending beneath her tunic and trousers, which also sported bloodied rips.

"Your foul mood. We don't have time for you to mope about your love life. This isn't the fucking Circle." Evelyn's eyes grew wide at the venom in Adrina's voice, and she felt herself wilt internally.

Memories of Adrina's reaction when Evelyn had finally confessed about Aiden flooded her, and she remembered the shame she felt under Adrina's judgment. While she had begrudgingly accepted Evelyn's apology (at Fee's insistence) Evelyn could tell Adrina was repelled by the whole situation, and even more disgusted with Evelyn's slow rise out of melancholy. It took her months to get over him, and even that was shaky. Adrina had had no patience with her. They'd grown apart, and only this endeavor had brought them close again. But still, Evelyn kept her emotions and her insecurities to herself. Why wouldn't she, when all it had earned her in the past was a glower and a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was pathetic?

She tried to speak, but she didn't quite know what to say. She wanted to rail against being treated like a child, but a part of her also wanted to apologize for being unable to master herself, for not being stronger. When she did finally find her words, they were low and defeated.

"I'm having a bad day Adrina, I'll be better tomorrow." Evelyn turned to walk further into the forest, but Adrina followed her, her steps decisive and angry.

"No you won't." Adrina huffed, annoyed, and put herself in front of Evelyn with her hands on her hips.

"What's he done? Not cuddle with you after you laid together on the _floorboards of the kitchen_? Did he not promise you eternal love and a ship to bear your name?" The mocking words somersaulted out and Evelyn felt as though she were being stabbed again, each new sentence making her wince. Maker, she didn't deserve this, this wasn't fair.

"What's wrong with you?" Evelyn's words were barely above a whisper, her shock plain on her face. She was used to Adrina's acerbic tongue, but she had never been so cruel to her before.

Adrina's anger was hot enough that she was breathing hard, and when she took a step towards Evelyn, Evelyn took two back.

" _You_ are what's wrong with me, you insipid twat! We are _trying_ to take over the Circle, we are _trying_ to save our friends, and _you're_ crying over a man, **again**! We haven't planned, we haven't coordinated, we've barely a month to go--" She took a breath, and Evelyn felt guilty tears begin to prick her eyes.

"You haven't wanted to speak about any of it. Do you even care?" Adrina choked on her last words, and Evelyn finally understood where her friend's rage was coming from. From her perspective, Evelyn's silence must have seemed crass and unmoved, but this couldn't have been further from the truth.

Confident now, Evelyn spoke, her voice hard.

"Fine, Adrina. Let's talk about it. Let's hash out how you and Demitrius planned an insurrection you _knew_ would get the majority killed or made Tranquil," It was Adrina's turn to be taken aback, and the raven-haired mage's mouth fell open. But Evelyn couldn't stop.

"Just to get two weak _healers_ out of the Circle to do-- what again? What the fuck can we _do_? What can two _wolves_ do against a legion of Templars?" Her own anger had built, compounded over months of skirting around the issue. She'd never wanted to confront Adrina about her role in the rebellion, never wanted to believe that she'd been capable of it. Ignoring it had seemed like the most painless option. She didn't want to lose the one friend she might have left.

"Your bullshit plan could have killed the very friends you're so desperate to return to-- so don't project your guilt onto me! You have no right to tell me **I don't care**!" Evelyn was screaming now, her emotions boiling over. This wasn't right, she could already feel. They weren't supposed to be arguing like this. Nothing good would come of their falling out, and they needed each other now more than ever. And yet all she wanted to do was rail against Adrina, lash out with everything that she had. She wanted to finally get it all out in the open.

"You're cruel Adrina. You're punishing me for a mistake that's more than two years old-- and I didn't hurt anyone but myself. _You_ \-- you're mistakes have gotten people we knew _killed_. How dare you call me _insipid_? I care about you, about everyone we left behind-- why else would we train like we do, why else would I be here?" Tears were running down her face, and she took a step towards Adrina.

"But our chances aren't good-- we're probably going to die when we return, you know this." The defeat in her voice caused Adrina to sob despite herself.

"And Declan was there, warm and comforting, and I _miss_ having that. This was probably my last chance." Evelyn was only a step away from Adrina now, and her expression was soft with resignation.

"I don't-- that is, I forgive you. I know you did what you did out of desperation, and even though I disagreed with it, I forgave you the moment I pieced it together. But I didn't want it to be real. I didn't want to think you were capable..." Evelyn choked on her words and figured she'd spoken enough. Adrina's eyes had never left hers, and the mage's hard expression was only softened by the tears that glistened there.

Before she could speak, Evelyn went with her gut and put her arms around her friend, hugging her tightly. She let her tears run freely down her face, miserable at the thought that she might lose the one person she had left. Cold though she was, Adrina could be kind, or at least she had been in the past. Sobs racked her body, and her panic only subsided when Adrina's arms came around her middle, and she hugged her back. She too gave into her tears, and the girls stood there at the edge of the forest, sobbing into each other's necks in respite from the heavy guilt and burdens that weighed them both down.

Time passed and before long they found themselves sitting side by side, their raw eyes on the ground as they sat quietly.

"So... _did_ he do something wrong?" Adrina finally ventured, and Evelyn couldn't help but laugh at her friend's refusal to tread into too much emotion.

"No. He even said he wanted to see me again. But I let the whole Aiden thing get into my head again." Evelyn sighed, her fingers twiddling with the grass in front of her crossed legs.

She looked over at Adrina before speaking, deciding to be fully honest with her.

"It's not rational, I know, but I've been fighting against the idea that Declan won't want anything to do with me after last night. Not that it would matter, and we're not that... _together_ , but it just scares me. I don't want to be cast aside again, right when I've given all of myself. Hence the foul mood." She shut her mouth, feeling she'd revealed enough for one sitting. She felt foolish for her feelings, knowing they were ridiculous, but she couldn't contain them, couldn't deny how much they cut through her confidence.

Adrina covered her hand with her own, giving her a light squeeze.

"You're just going to have to force the issue then. Show up at his door with nothing but your smalls on." Her deadpan humor made Evelyn smile and laugh, and she shook her head.

"And if he turns me away?" She asked, a hint of strain in her voice.

"Aiden was a very particular case Ev; it won't happen again. Besides, Declan doesn't strike me as the type to care much about Chantry or Circle protocol." Evelyn chuckled, but she didn't respond as Adrina's words replayed themselves in her head.

_He doesn't care about the Chantry... or the Circle..._

Evelyn straightened in a flash, her body turning towards Adrina's, her hands squeezing the woman's forearm.

"You're right. He doesn't!"

* * *

 

The sweat had dried on her body and both of their breathing had subsided to a comfortable rhythm when she chanced a glance his way. She'd been working her proposal round in her mind for the last couple hours, but when she'd come to see him he'd distracted her. That had been a happy outlier that had gladdened her heart, quieting the insecurity she'd felt all day. If Adrina hadn't intervened or sparked Evelyn's idea, she didn't know how long she would have sulked over Declan and his imagined slights.

His eyes were closed, but a small smile played on his face. Their love-making had been slower today, languorous with the heat and also tiring towards the end. A small part of her felt guilty for not sticking solely to business on her visit, but she couldn't resist when he'd reached for her, and she rationalized that he'd be more... _receptive_ to her idea now that she'd sated him.

 _Or maybe I should have done that first, and_ then _slept with him?_

She shook out her hair as she sat up. Either way, it worked out. She'd wanted to bed him, and that was all there had to be to it, she decided.

He opened one eye to look over at her, his hand coming to rest on her lower back.

"Leaving already?" He asked into the quiet room. His home was sparsely furnished, with only a few wooden fixtures littered about the big room. She'd been surprised by how large the house was, and how empty.

She shook her head no, a smile on her lips. She turned toward him, straddling him, her outstretched arms coming to rest beside his face as her hair fell onto his chest. Swiping some of it behind her ear, she bit her lip nervously, unsure of how to begin. He was looking at her curiously, but his spirits were still high.

"So... You're a pirate right?" She ventured, her eyes bright and playful. She knew she'd need to be as persuasive as possible, for even a daring man might think her proposal inane.

He chuckled heartily, his hands coming to rest at her hips, kneading the skin there.

"Yes. More of a smuggler as if late, but sure. Why? Are we at the point where you try to Andrastenize me already?" He pinched her bottom playfully, and she swiped at his hand, her smile growing.

"No... I was rather hoping for the opposite." She let her words hang in the air, trying to feel the situation out before she dove in. To his credit, Declan sat up a little straighter, and she slid lower into his lap, moving to wrap her legs around his back.

"Oh?" He prompted, and although he was calm she could tell that she'd piqued his interest from the slant of his eyes.

"Did Ruby ever tell you where me and Adrina came from? Aside from the Free Marches, I mean." She'd taken it for granted all these months that everybody knew her situation, but she couldn't be sure. She didn't doubt he knew she was a Mage, though they'd never talked about it (lord she wanted to stay away from that topic with men for the rest of her days.) But whether or not he knew she was a runaway Circle mage was another thing.

His eyes glinted mischievously, and Evelyn furrowed her brow in confusion.

"No. But I know you're as close to ladies as mages get, so I assumed you were from some Circle. Your hands are soft--" He fit one of her hands into his, his index finger stroking her palm.

"Or they were before Ruby had you start with daggers." He laughed as she threw him a withering look.

"You don't like dirt, and before I left last I caught you eyeing one of Ruby's excessively ornate silver necklaces. You said it needed a sapphire. Didn't take much to piece it together." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, before moving to roll her off him, standing and walking over to his wardrobe. He filled two flagons that were set atop it with ale while Evelyn stared at him appreciatively, her eyes trailing down the length of him and focusing on the tattoos on his back before she remembered to be offended.

"So an aversion to filth and and good taste means I'm either a mage..."

"Or a lady. And I think we both know you're not that." He winked at her, and she flung a pillow at him from the bed. _Little does he know._ It caught him on the leg and he laughed, bringing her a cup as he sat down across from her, his eyes flickering down to her bared body before coming back to her face.

"So. What does where you're from have to do with what I do for a living?" He asked, amused. She could tell his shrewd mind already had a few theories. He had probably already guessed.

Evelyn took a deep breath, and then a swig of the harsh liquor, before slowly spitting out the words.

"Sail with me and Adrina and help us storm the Ostwick Circle Tower. Whatever you and your crew finds is yours to keep, and we get a Templar-free Circle." Her hand gripped the cup, her knuckles nearly turning white. She tried not to look as nervous as she was, the fact that she had little to no other viable option ramping up the pressure.

He kept her in suspense for what felt like a long time, his face unreadable, until finally he laughed.

And laughed. And laughed, until Evelyn was boring holes into him with her glare, her embarrassment giving rise to anger.

"You're insufferable." She grumbled as she set her cup down on the side table and made to get down from the bed, Declan laughing all throughout. She hoped he choked on his laughter.

Before she could get far he'd banded an arm around her waist and hauled her back onto the bed. Her back hit the mattress but she sat up quickly, indignant, a fire dancing in her eyes. She didn't take well to humiliation, or man-handling.

"Wait, wait." He reined himself in just barely, small laughs peppering his words.

"I didn't say no. I think you're insane, but I didn't say no."

She hesitated to get too excited, working to keep her expression under control. She bunched up the blankets in her hands, adrenaline coursing through her in anxious anticipation.

"So say yes." She spoke low, trying (and failing) to not seem as desperate as she was for his help. It could be the key to everything.

Declan sighed, but his expression remained jovial as he scooted closer to her.

"Templars are highly trained soldiers Evelyn. My men are good, but I'm not sure they're that good."

"But Templars aren't used to fighting rogues-- they fight each other, or mages. And you'd have two great healers with you." She put in, having already thought of this.

He nodded, and Evelyn got the impression that he'd already thought that far, only now he was trying to convince himself.

"And how does one storm a tower that's on high alert, exactly? There can't be the many entrances."

"I can get you in." She sounded more confident than she was, and he arched a brow. The magic Ruby had taught her would serve her well, and her and Adrina had already begun their study of the island's native crow that afternoon. But whether she could get it down precisely before they set sail was another thing.

"And we, the pirates, get what out of this? Old textbooks and rusted trinkets?"

Unable to contain herself, Evelyn put her hand over his forearm, squeezing him lightly.

" _Priceless_ volumes and the _most expensive_ trinkets. Our previous First Enchanter was enamored by all things Orlesian-- There's plenty of rubies, gold, sapphires, amethysts, quartz, etcetera to be pried from the furnishings or the staffs-- or I'm sure they'd be gladly gifted to you from the mages. These were gifts from wealthier mage parents to the Circle, you see. Wines, ales, the best cheeses. I think Bash has a collection of Dwarven statuettes, _Lyrium_ \--" Her eyes grew wide as she remembered Lyrium, which could be so lucrative she couldn't believe she'd nearly forgotten it. She was speaking a mile a minute before he interrupted her.

"Evelyn,"

"And I have a pair of diamond earrings." She put in quickly before he could start his sentence. Her knees came up to her chest and she hugged them, feeling as though if she didn't she'd explode in a ball of nervous energy.

He chuckled as he shook his head, his hand curling around one of her ankles and pulling it away from her body.

"And what about when we take all of that? When we go on our merry way, leaving you all with no lyrium dust to sustain you or our protection?" Evelyn's face paled slightly as Declan stretched her leg out over his lap and traced figure eights over her calf and thigh.

"Maybe not all of the lyrium." She rectified, and he let out a short laugh.

"I'm just saying, have you thought this through? Even if we pull it off-- which is doubtful-- are you sure you want to be responsible for an entire _Circle_ of freshly freed mages? Don't think the Templars won't send reinforcements the second I leave." His tone had gotten more serious, and it was weighing her down with its practicality. She knew it wasn't full-proof, but what else could she do, and when would another opportunity like this arise?

She nodded 'yes' fervently, her body brimming with eagerness. She wasn't sure of anything, but she was going to do something. Adrina had been right; Evelyn hadn't stepped up recently, her anxieties and fears leaving her hollow when normally she would have taken charge and been the one with a plan. Now that she had one she was going to see it through.

Declan just shook his head at her, and she wasn't sure if the crease in his brow was worried or not.

 _He_ is _rather old, so wrinkles make sense._

But she knew her wisecrack was foolish as she felt the hard planes of his trim body blanket hers. She felt that same tenderness she'd felt for him before surge in her belly as he burrowed his face into her neck and murmured that she was crazy.

"So you'll help?" She asked, hopeful. A moment passed before she felt him sag against her as he sighed.

"Yes. But I want _all_ of the dwarven statuettes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this one out! Been a crazy work load week + I kept pulling my hair out over where to take the story. But next chapter comes action and the conclave! So we're almost done with origin story-ing :)


	7. Overthrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violence ahead, be forewarned!

The creaking of the ship masked Evelyn's footsteps as she entered the sleeping quarters of the ship. She dodged and swerved to avoid contact with the dozens of hammocks that hung from the ceiling, musty pirates cocooned inside. She smiled as she imagined them inside her Circle, their grubby hands all over the riches it hoarded. They would look so out of place.

Finally she found the small bunk-like hollow in the ship where she and Adrina usually slept. Lately she'd slept with Declan in his quarters ( _accidentally, really_ ) but Adrina hadn't complained about being left with crew on her own-- it meant more leg room in the small bunk, after all. But tonight Evelyn forced her sluggish body from the comfort of Declan's bed, missing the warmth of him immediately as she tiptoed out of the room. She didn't doubt he'd heard her, but he didn't try to stop her as he normally would have.

Tomorrow they'd be anchoring just outside of Ostwick.

She felt the need to be with Adrina, to share the nervous energy that made her attention flighty. She'd been mostly useless all day aboard the ship, her chores only half-assed as her mind wandered.

_How many mages will be killed in the cross fire? Will we stop killing Templars once they've thinned out? How will we get away if we're overwhelmed?_

She sat at the edge of the bunk and kicked off her shoes, and she nudged Adrina lightly to try and get her over to her side of the small slab of wood. They'd all gone over these sorts of questions multiple times. She and Adrina had mapped out the Circle layout as best they could for Declan (neither was exactly an artist) and they all had a fairly sound idea of how the attack would proceed, and what to do should it all go south. Late at night, when Declan was half asleep, she'd rouse him with a new kink in their plan and pester him until they'd worked it out. He teased her for her meticulousness, but he'd always squeeze her, kiss her, or hold her in support. She loved that about him.

But it wasn't enough to keep her fingers from trembling with nerves and exhaustion as she tugged at the stubborn laces of one shoe. Once she righted herself on the bunk, she turned her body into Adrina's warmth, an arm slinging over her friend.

"Hoooow's Declan?" Adrina asked in a tired, but playful way, surprising Evelyn who'd thought her asleep.

"Good, good. He's sleeping." She tried to steal some of the blanket Adrina had settled over herself, with little success.

"Shouldn't you be asleep with him?" Adrina asked, her head turning towards Evelyn as she flattened onto her back, loosening her grip on the sheets so Evelyn could get under.

Evelyn smiled softly and shook her head 'no,' as she settled into the hard bed, bringing the covers up to her chin.

"Can't."

"M'either." Adrina replied, and Evelyn saw the truth of that in the bags under her friend's eyes, in her tired drawl.

They laid in the quiet for a few moments, the breathing of the nearest men and the sea the only noise. She barely noticed, the din of her thoughts loud and insistent. She had nothing and everything to say. Nighttime isolation gave her too much privacy to think on what she might find when they finally arrived. What would have happened to Demitrius, who spearheaded this foolish plan? What of Bash and Fee? They were capable of keeping low, right? And what of Aiden? She didn't let herself think of him during the day, but with each night she gave more and more time to him. She worried over how to deal with him if she came across him. She knew what Adrina would say-- _fucking bury him_ \-- and she didn't disagree, but her heart stopped when she imagined hurting him. Just now, the image of her daggers sinking into his back, bare and smooth, made her squirm in the bed. The look of betrayal on his face, of pain. She couldn't stand it, and she turned towards Adrina and let herself vent.

"I just want them all to be alive." She whispered, biting her lip. She wanted Bash and Fee hale and patient, waiting for them. She wanted Demitrius imprisoned, locked away so he could plot no more as he awaited sentencing. That way, she could rescue him from both the Templars and himself. Aiden, she wished gone. Gone off to marry some city girl he got with child, gone off to inherit his parents' market stall, gone off to fight apostate mages elsewhere. Just gone off. She didn't feel she could bear the confrontation.

"I know it's all bigger than them. But if we can get Fee, Bash, Demitrius out of there safely, that would be enough for me." Her voice was barely above a whisper, her eyes lowered now in shame. She felt like a traitor, like a coward, but it didn't make her words any less true. If they couldn't manage the overthrow of the Templars at Ostwick, she would settle for saving her friends and _running_. They were only Circle mages after all. What more could be expected of them?

Adrina shook her head, her expression sympathetic.

"No." She spoke calmly, but firmly, the sleepy drawl leaving her voice.

"Yes." Evelyn replied, suppressing a sob as she nodded her head. It may not sound pretty, but she didn't care at this point.

Adrina looked over at her sharply, her eyes narrowed. But when she spoke, Evelyn recognized the same struggle in her friend.

"I understand Ev. Too well. But what _we_ want doesn't matter. We have to secure the tower. We've known almost everyone in there our entire lives." Evelyn's eyes began to pool, and she thought she saw a shine in Adrina's.

"But it's bigger then even them. We're fighting for the future of _all_ mages, so even if they're all dead--" Evelyn whimpered involuntarily at that "We'll keep fighting. We have to."

Adrina's eyes were hard now, stony despite the shine of tears. Evelyn felt both chastised and reassured. A heavy wave of relief flooded her, knowing that someone understood the gravity of all this, that someone could handle it. That someone was bull-headed enough to push through. Adrina was here to keep everything together, to ensure people like Evelyn didn't let their fears ruin it all. But Maker, she just wanted peace. She wanted the people she loved, and who loved her.

She marveled at how strong Adrina was. She'd always known it, but it wasn't until recently that her friend had shone. Evelyn was capable of courage, but she was too careful to match Adrina. That ruthless streak just wasn't in her, and she wasn't willing to act and _then_ live with her actions, when it affected people outside of herself. But it had freed them. It had given them this chance to work for themselves and their like, rather than the idle resistance Evelyn had preached.

Despite herself, Evelyn nodded her head, the bottoms of her palms pressing into her eye sockets.

"You're right." She whispered, but it only invoked a deluge of nervous tears. She struggled to stay quiet, silent sobs racking her chest as she felt Adrina pull her close and hug her tightly. This was all too much. She wasn't ready for such a burden, but she acknowledged that it didn't matter-- fate had landed her here, and she had to perform. Adrina could lead; she was happy to be free of the responsibility. But she had to be strong if she was going to survive this, if she was going to help see their struggle to fruition. She had to let go of her anxieties, and simply do what she knew had to be done.

As her sobs subsided into breathy hiccups, she opened her eyes and looked at Adrina, her face a mere inches from hers. She noticed that she too had been crying.

 _We've made quite the habit of this, haven't we?_ She asked herself, but the humor didn't lighten her expression. Moments passed before Adrina finally moved to swipe at her own tears with the back of her hand. She looked over at Evelyn before speaking in a small voice.

"I want them to be alive too."

* * *

 

Evelyn looked out her dark fur rimmed eyes, the colors she would have normally picked up on muted. The night was so quiet that she could hear her quickened heartbeat, and even thought she could hear Adrina's, whose fur brushed her own as they stood side by side at the edge of the wood surrounding the Ostwick Circle.

It felt strange to be looking at what had been her home most of her life from the outside. It looked almost foreign from out here, an imposing mass of grey dull stone that gave its inhabitants no credit. The mages were brimming with potential, brightly eyed and minded, but they were packed full into that dreary building, unable to escape its rounded halls. The inside was so much warmer, so much more alive. But one saw nothing of that from out here.

_No one would look twice. How could you imagine anything other than sooty pieces of furniture locked away in there? How could you imagine people, living in that near-ruin?_

You couldn't, and that thought stoked the hatred surging through her. First they had been bastardized, taken from their family and future. Then they had been demoralized, crippled by a harsh discipline. Finally, they had been dehumanized, trapped bodily, if not mentally when made Tranquil.

They had been all but forgotten by the outside world, shuffled away into their silent corner like a deranged relative.

She peered into the candle-lit windows she could see from her vantage, and wondered who occupied the rooms. It was very late, or early, and whoever was up wasn't afraid of being so, which left only Templars.

She counted more lit windows than she would have liked.

_Why are they all awake? Do they keep the rooms lit to appear alert? Are they--_

Her thoughts were cut off by brittle steps that made their way towards the bushes. She felt Adrina recoil, but her own panic told her to sit still. It would be difficult to be seen, what with the night and the darkness of her pelt. If she stayed still, she'd get a better look at the person than he or she would at her.

And she was right. Standing only a few feet to her left, a Templar stopped and planted his feet a few paces apart. He tipped his visor up before his hands reached down to the metal codpiece at his groin, and Evelyn realized the man had come to relieve himself. _Here_ of all places.

_How unlucky._

Her eyes shifted to Adrina without moving her head overmuch. They'd scouted around the tower just moments earlier and had planned to confront this very Templar and his watch partner while they were on guard duty. But they had wanted to wait awhile, until the appointed time.

But this seemed an opportunity too ripe to let pass.

The sound of piss hitting the earth made the hair on her back raise. The girls took to their roles instinctively, Evelyn slowly backing away further to the right as Adrina walked forward gingerly. Evelyn watched as Adrina studied the Templar, her eyes narrowed through the micro leaves, her haunches ready to spring into action as she inched forward...

The man reached down to refasten his codpiece, and Adrina lunged.

Her canine jaw connected with the sliver of skin at the neck the helmet left exposed. Evelyn didn't know if she was imagining it, but she could have sworn she heard Adrina's sharpened teeth sink into his flesh as the nails of her paws scraped against the metal armor. His screams were almost instantaneous, but they ended just as quickly as he started gurgling, choking on his own blood. Adrina hadn't stopped-- she'd gnashed until she'd ripped veins and tendons, shaking her head viciously as she ripped through flesh, gaining a better grip when the body had hit the ground.

Evelyn watched, stricken, as Adrina backed away and the head lolled to the side unnaturally.

She was so fixed on the carnage that the running footfalls from the right surprised her. Luckily, what would have been a delayed reaction in her human body came early in her wolfish one. She pulled her attention away from the now-dead man, and waited on the responding Templar to show himself, Adrina remaining astride her catch.

When he did come into view, Evelyn felt herself bare her teeth without meaning to. She let out a low growl as she hunched low, feeling the muscles in her legs ache for release. She quieted the worried voice in her head that urged against the baseness she was seeping herself in.

_That won't help me tonight. There's no room for softness._

Adrina remained still, and Evelyn imagined the taunting expression on her face.

The Templar stopped short at the gruesome scene, before quickly squaring up and beginning his stalk forward. Adrina began to howl, giving Evelyn the noise she needed to emerge from the brush unnoticed, the Templar's back to her.

Slowly, cautiously, she half-circled the man until she was directly behind him, just as her and Adrina had practiced a hundred times.

 _Attack, distract, surprise._ She heard Ruby's chant in her head, her snout brought low to the ground as her eyes bore holes into the man's back.

Adrina sat cocked, ostensibly ready to attack the Templar, and he cursed as he unsheathed his sword. Evelyn waited until he held it firmly in his hands, and then she was sprinting, her body moving faster than it ever had, and then she pummeled into his metal frame.

The surprise was enough to knock him forward, landing so that his head was close to the Templar's nearly severed one. A terrified screech escaped him, but by then Evelyn had already turned, her sinewy body stretching into human proportions. Her knees straddled him, the heat of adrenaline making the cold of the metal trivial. Scrambling, he rose onto his hands, just as she'd expected.

She reached for the hilt of the sword he'd flattened. She saw his body go still for a moment when he saw her human hand, and despite the gore she knew would come next, she smiled a bitter, caustic smile that silenced any doubts she may have had.

Her fingers crested the top of his helmet until they met the visor. She pulled on it roughly, exposing his stubbled neck just as she tightened her grip on the sword...

She heard a yell as she slit his throat, a matter of seconds ingraining themselves in her memory as the moment when she crossed a line she herself had made. A degradation she'd never recover from, committed as easily as buttering her toast at breakfast.

She was no longer just a victim, for better or for worse.

Slowly she lifted her head, hazy eyes seeing nothing. Her breathing was heavy, and she felt an anger bubbling in her stomach. As the drumming in her ears died down, she stood up and away from her prey, the chill air whipping against her naked body as she looked out towards the tower, hate in her heart, in her blood.

She could see the faint outline of Templars on their way to them, running towards the scream they'd heard.

The scream she'd let out.

She took a small step in their direction, but Adrina's voice brought her back.

"Evelyn?"

She looked back at the mage who too, had turned, and became self-conscious of the brazen venom that coursed through her. She clenched her teeth and decided she wanted to be this angry. Ire would see her through if nothing else.

"Declan has his distraction in the east. Are you ready?" She heard herself say, feeling very much outside her own body.

Adrina nodded her head, and the two of them began the quick transformation. She felt as though she was drowning in lyrium for the few moments it took, unable to breathe. But when she blinked her crow eyes and flapped her boney wings, she steeled herself against the worry that they shouldn't be doing this so frequently, or relying on such a draining magic.

Their light chirps greeted the small group of Templars just as they arrived, and they alighted towards the tower.

* * *

 

They'd reconnoitered earlier and had managed to find a high window with no glass, its repair the last thing on anyone's mind apparently. They flew in, and Evelyn was glad to be done with the gusty night, the mere flight up here having cost her untrained body much.

It only took her a moment to transform yet again. She was accustoming herself to the constant turning, but the necessary mana was beginning to leave a searing, low heat after the rush of it left her veins.

She was going to need more lyrium.

She walked over to the tiny vials they'd brought in their beaks earlier that day, and downed hers. Adrina came over and did the same, and the girls eyed each other nervously.

It was all finally unfolding.

This time they transformed slowly, wanting to conserve as much of their mana as possible. They let it build and ebb, but even with care it only took them a minute to turn.

When Evelyn opened her eyes and saw Adrina pawing at the door knob, she felt the ugly throb of hatred burn again. The skin at her snout wrinkled as the door creaked open.

_We'll make sheep of them yet._

* * *

 

They'd only had to clear the first floor on their own.

The halls were a hub of colorful, singeing magic, mages in their shifts and long johns visiting an anger on their captors that bordered on madness. With Evelyn or Adrina at their head they were bolder, less inhibited, and when the girls thrust discarded swords into their hands they didn't flinch. They were emboldened, inflamed. A few had remained in their rooms, quivering when a wolf appeared and transformed into a young woman spouting revolution. But the majority needed little convincing, and their bloodlust drew them out.

Unfortunately, that bloodlust was costing them.

They hadn't had time to train as Evelyn and Adrina had, and they hadn't been expecting a fight. Adrina had taken the upper floors, and Evelyn the lower after they'd gathered support from the primary hall. They collected new allies with each floor, but they could do little to protect the mages. They needed the new bodies to deflect attention, to distract, while they worked; Evelyn to smuggle the pirates in, Adrina to reach the First Enchanter.

That wasn't to say they were without wounds. Their soft, unclothed bodies bled as swords nipped at them, sometimes slicing deeper. They had become quick, and could outmaneuver the hunkering Templars, but they were unused to the reach of their swords and they were the vanguard, after all. They led the charge into every hall, their naked, bleeding bodies a spectacle. Morbidly stunning, they felled man after man, woman after woman, with a tenacity that made them seem otherworldly. They left both mage and Templar in awe.

They turned but rarely, when cornered, in an effort to conserve their mana, the surging of which only caused Templar attention to snap their way. The sheer, hot strength of the magic made them more obvious targets than their nudity did, and so they relied on the evasive and invasive tactics of the rogues they allied with. This made them less likely to be smited, but even when they were their resistance to the Templar tactic was significant by now, thanks to their conditioning with the Smiting potions.

Evelyn only hoped the mages had continued taking them.

She forced herself to focus on the target in front of her, to kill or down each steel giant as quickly and efficiently as she could. A puncture in an armpit, a thick tendon-slicing cut to the back of a knee. Anything to drop the body, so she could hop over it and sally down to the next floor.

Sometimes she arrived at floors where fighting had already started between Templar and mage, the commotion feeding the suspicion and distrust. In cases like these, she'd make an effort to get through in a straight shot, but she was only ever partially successful. She was already sporting considerable gashes on her shoulders, chest, and flanks. One particular wound at her hip was making running an excruciating task, despite the small spurts of healing mana she allowed herself.

_I'm so close._

She hadn't seen any of her friends, and the thought sickened her. She tried to put it from her mind, but the mounting anxiety was propelling her forward, leaving her frantic to reach Declan so that she would be one step closer to finding them.

_Where's Aiden?_

She took another downward flight of stairs, her feet afire with blisters and scrapes, unsure of how far she had come and how much she had left to go. Her body was exhausted, her will faltering. She had less than a dozen mages at her back when a handful of shielded Templars came into view as they entered the Great Hall, the last spacious area to cover before the bottleneck of the entrance.

She ran right for them.

* * *

 

Declan started towards the tower, a small army at his back, the minute he heard muffled screams escape the crevices of the tower's stone. He'd been crouched low right behind the tree-line to the west, his knees tight against his trousers when candles began to sputter erratically in their window frames.

It'd been hard to wait as long as he did. Evelyn's scream had riled him (he was certain that it had been her) and he'd felt that jolt of whatever he always got in combat. It got him through looting, it got him through murder, and it got him out alive.

It made him livid.

_She's fine._

Evelyn had been evasive when he'd asked how she planned to get into the tower, and at first he'd found it amusing. Eventually it had led to a few almost-arguments, him insisting they needed to plan for all eventualities, she demanding that he trust her. A tricky thing, that. Trust wasn't his bent, what with his trade and the sort of people he dealt with.

He would have told her as much, if only they hadn't been rutting every evening.

From his experience, women didn't like having their loyalty or intelligence questioned. Evelyn may have been different from most of the women he knew, her polished speech and bearing a stain from Circle living, but it didn't make her any less lively.

_An underground passage maybe._

He unsheathed his daggers as they neared the Tower, the screams and the sound of hurtling furniture (bodies?) growing louder as he neared. He hunched his shoulders instinctively, though it would be of no help to him, and when his hand finally touched stone, he signaled for all the men to do as they'd been instructed, silently looping around the circumference of the Tower, their backs against the stone. It'd be harder for them to be seen, and they needed as much time hidden as Evelyn needed to make her way to them. He'd positioned himself right at the door she'd pointed to, right where she said she'd meet him to let him in.

 _Fucking Maker, where is she?_ He cursed and stewed in silence, the rigidity of his stance belying the anxiety he was experiencing.

 _This is why you don't mix business with pleasure._ He heard Ruby chastising him, an aphorism he'd always found ridiculous since the woman had worked with her husband for over three decades.

"When did the lassie say she'd grace us with her presence?" The man beside him whispered roughly, and Declan only glared him down. A few more moments passed, before he decided he too was at the end of his patience.

He signaled for the men to stay put, and he rounded on the door, a shoulder crashing into the wood. It took another two shoves, but he had the wooden door cracked in several places. One more shove...

The door ignited in violent flames, the heat licking at his leathers. The door was in ashes before he could blink away the surprise, and his eyes focused on a naked sprinting frame, familiar but bruised.

_Evelyn?_

She was running towards him at full speed, determination written on every line of her body. Her hair was a tangled, whipping mess, her arms and torso a sliced-up design of trickling blood. Those tender eyes that let him in every evening and challenged him every other hour of the damn day were fraught with something he recognized all too well. When she registered him, they widened with relief. But she didn't let up her pace, and instead she sprinted faster. Pain creased her face into a cringe as she gave into the home stretch--

"Declan!" She cried his name, only two feet from him, before her body vanished, and the cawing of a crow echoed out into the night. The bird careened away from his head, spinning as it flew out into the dark and upwards, scaling the tower until it flitted into an open window.

A thump at his back broke his trance, and his head snapped down to look through the open entrance.

Templars, at least a dozen of them, sprinting headlong at him, the mages that had delayed them a bloody tangle of flesh on the ground.

She had gotten them in.

* * *

  
Evelyn barreled into the room, turning the second her wings passed the windowpane. Her human body dropped, thumping against the wooden floor loudly. She'd been meaning to catch herself, but her mind was growing foggy, the loss of blood leaving her weak and slow.

She was sputtering, breathy gasps torturing her body as they further opened her cuts. She struggled onto her forearms, a pained moan escaping her. When she managed to get onto her hands and knees, her vision was blurred and her stomach was heaving. She breathed through her mouth as the blood dripped from her body, a dozen little puddles forming underneath her.

_Get up, get up, get up. Get to Adrina._

She'd completed her half of the bargain, but she had to continue. It wouldn't do to just hide now. The room she was in was deserted, and Maker it would have been too easy to remain where she was, and just let whatever was meant to happen, happen.

Instead she surged her mana, and the closing of the smaller cuts made her gasp in discomfort. Her eyes were clear now, and she was on her feet quickly if with some difficulty. She probably didn't have enough mana for any more turning, and to be fair she'd made it last longer than she'd expected to. She limped towards the door, favoring her hip as blood oozed from the deepest gash she'd sustained.

_The faster you move, the faster you find answers on the others._

She stepped out into the hallway, the twang of blood in the air nauseating. She staggered down the hall, sidestepping some bodies and simply walking over others. She didn't have the energy to be respectful, nor really the inclination. When she reached the stairs, she leaned forward onto her hands as well, using both sets of limbs to support her as she crawled up. She felt as though she'd climbed a mountain by the time she reached the final floor.

Gripping the railing to see herself upright, Evelyn could now hear voices from where she stood, hidden behind the stone archway. The high-strung, strained voice belonged to Lydia, she was sure, and the others--

"Bash... Fee?" She stepped out into the room, but her desperation cost her instantly. Perhaps it was the loss of blood that had made her delirious, or the consuming guilt she felt for having left her friends behind that made her imagine their voices. Either way, there was no one in the room but a dead Templar, and a very much alive First Enchanter and Adrina.

Adrina looked as much a mess as Evelyn did in that split second before the First Enchanter ran her through. Evelyn's entrance had distracted the raven haired mage, whose eyes were as wild, whose body was as much of a macabre sight, and Lydia wasted no time in wedging an abandoned Templar sword in her belly.

Blood sputtered out of Adrina's mouth as her body dropped. Evelyn heard herself cry out as a heaviness came over her. She mimicked the droop of Adrina's shoulders, the bucking of her knees, until she felt she was as weighed down by mortality as her dearest friend.

But while Adrina was silent, Evelyn wailed. She became deaf to her own bloodcurdling screams. She was blinded by rage, a maddening fear of loss gripping her as she lunged towards Lydia. She didn't notice the First Enchanter's hacked middle, her arm pressed tight against the wound to stay the blood. She didn't notice the panic on Lydia's face, the prey-like hysteria that had her inching towards the bay window behind her. She didn't notice the feeble spells shot her way, pathetic attempts that she could sidestep even in her current state.

Evelyn didn't notice anything at all really, but rather imagined bashing Lydia's skull into the ground.

When she did reach her, the First Enchanter began to yell out, her cries mingling with Evelyn's. Evelyn stumbled into her, her hands fisting Lydia's robes until her face was a mere inches from her own.

"Please, Evelyn, please! I'll listen, we'll fix it! I'll do whatever you ask--just _please_!" Lydia pleaded and sobbed between gasps of pain. The words transported Evelyn to a moment that felt like ages ago, when their roles had been reversed. When she'd begged for mercy, but had not been granted it. When she'd flailed and begged, and been smited and locked away.

That she could have forgiven. Lydia's consent in the Tranquil rites and in Templar abuses, she also could have forgiven. But as Adrina's body lay still beside her feet, sword buried in her belly, an incantation dying on her lips, Evelyn couldn't, wouldn't, let the woman before her live.

A hot hatred drove her, and Evelyn pushed at Lydia's shoulders until the older woman fell to the floor. She got unto her knees above her, and with rabid precision thrust her hands into the First Enchanter's wound. Her finger gripped the edge of the gash, stretching it apart as the skin ripped. Lydia's nightmarish screams grew as Evelyn's small fingers made vile work of her insides, ramming into the cut, pulling, pushing, ripping with every last ounce of energy she had.

She began to cry when the screams stopped. Her aching, bleeding body bowed over Lydia's as sobs began to rack through her. She crawled off up the now limp body, her raw wounds open, her own blood flowing and mingling with the spray of Lydia's.

She dragged herself, her shaking arms pulling her along the wooden floor until she laid beside Adrina. Her tears ran continuously, the sobs making breathing difficult. She turned Adrina's face towards her own with her bloodied hand, the red in stark contrast to the alabaster skin. But the eyes were dead, the lips were slack, and Adrina was gone.

_I knew this would happen._

Consciousness threatened to slip away from her as a harrowing, excruciating sadness coursed through her. She was left gasping, her forehead burying itself into Adrina's shoulder, as regret burrowed its ugly head into her heart. She hated herself for having been led by her friend, for trusting in this harebrained scheme, for having survived.

It wasn't until she'd come to regret her very existence that she lost consciousness.

By then, the tower had been secured.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was unbeaaarrrrable to write! Was quite lacking in inspiration + action scenes are always difficult. Took me quite a while to figure out how to tackle the storming of the tower :p Hopefully it was entertaining enough, I tried to keep it as concise as possible while still giving a good feel for how hectic and chaotic it was, and how bloody. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and lots of love ^_^


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